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Dropping Hints
Be subtle. Don't be sneaky or manipulative, just casually drop hints here or there. Your mom may notice, or she may just start to get an idea of what age you and your peers are reaching. A subtle hint might be something like, “My friend [insert name] has started shaving her legs.” Don't feel too awkward. It shouldn't be a big deal. Casually mention what is going on with yourself or other girls at your school.
Get her to respond. Your mom may be picking up on your hints, but choosing not to respond. Getting her to respond is the best way to start a conversation. Use questions that require an answer. For example, “Some of my friends have started shaving their legs. When did you start shaving your legs, mom?” Asking direct questions like, “When do you think it is a good age to start shaving your legs?” will give you a sense of what your mother thinks. Just make sure to ease into it.
Be direct. If you think that your mother will say yes, and if she hasn't acted strangely to your other hints, try hinting more directly. The most direct way is to ask for razors when you are at the store. You can say, “I think that it's time for me to start shaving my legs. I have the most hair on my legs out of any of the girls in my grade/class.”
Talking to Your Mom
Plan your argument. If your mother says no or does not pick up on your hints, then try new strategies. List the reasons that you want to shave your legs, and plan out a way to present these reasons to your mom. Separate your reasons in a numbered list. For example, your first reason might be that you feel uncomfortable in social situations. Your second might be that you enjoy the feeling of smooth legs. Your third might be that you feel like you are responsible enough and old enough to start shaving.
Write out your sentences. After making a numbered list of all the reasons you want to start shaving, you should write some sentences so that you don't feel unprepared when the time comes. For example, you might want to write, "My friends have noticed that I still have hairy legs and it is making me feel uncomfortable. Being able to shave would allow me to fit in more and feel more comfortable with my body.”
Choose a good time. Make sure you will have plenty of time to have a full discussion. A long car ride, doing the dishes together, or during down time on the weekend are all good times to have a conversation. Don't start a conversation when one of you is busy or about to leave. Start the conversation by saying, “Mom, I wanted to ask you something, and I want you to listen to all of what I say before responding”. This will leave room for you to have a calm conversation.
Use your reasoning. This is where planning your argument will come in handy. List your reasons in a calm and collected way. Use the list that you made in the planning stage. You can say, “There are a few reasons that I want to shave my legs. The first is that it is making me self-conscious to have hairy legs. The second is that my friends are noticing that I have a lot of leg hair. The third is that I think that I am old enough and responsible enough to start shaving.”
Dealing With Rejection
Hear her out. After you give your reasons, your mother might have a response. Do not interrupt her. Try to make eye contact and nod, to show that you are listening. Take note of what she says, so that you can respond to it. You want to be able to convince her, not argue with her.
Calmly give your response. If you have listened carefully to what she said to you, you should have a couple things to respond to. If she thinks that you are too young, you can respond by saying,”Everyone starts shaving at different ages. This decision should be based on my maturity level.” Try to emphasize the fact that you are the one making this decision. If you are submitting to peer pressure, or only want to shave your legs because people tell you that you should, shaving may not be a good idea.
Be willing to compromise. Your mother may just want you to ease into shaving. Be willing to meet her halfway. Compromises might be shaving below the knee, using hair removal cream, or having her help you shave. Suggesting compromises might be a good way to convince her. You can say, “What if we think of a compromise that can work for both of us?”
Be patient. Your mother may say no the first time around. Wait before asking her again. After about a month or so, you can suggest a compromise again. Remind her that you were mature about her rejection of your request last time. It may take more than one or two tries to get her to say yes. Stay mature and calm, and eventually she will agree that you are ready.
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