How to Do the Kabedon: Is It Appropriate?

What does kabedon mean?

Kabedon is the act of pushing someone against a wall. While this act can be done to intimidate someone, it is mostly viewed as a flirty action because it is often performed during romantic confessions in various anime and manga. The kabedon is typically performed by a man to a woman, though it can be performed to and by any gender. In general, the person doing the kabedon will slam one hand against the wall and lean into the other person to intimidate or fluster them. The word “kabedon” comes from the Japanese “kabe,” meaning wall, and “don,” meaning “bang.” Slapping the wall produces the “don” sound. Many believe the kabedon became so popular in anime and manga because it appeals to women’s romantic fantasies, in which men sweep them off their feet with their assertiveness. This could be because Asian men are rarely depicted as assertive or masculine in media. When a woman is the one performing the kabedon, it is sometimes called a reverse kabedon.

Kabedon Origins

The kabedon was popularized by the shojo manga LDK. LDK by Ayu Watanabe follows high school girl Aoi Nishimori as she must share an apartment with Shusei Kugayama, the “prince” of her school who has a reputation for turning down girls. Kugayama eventually performs the kabedon on Watanabe. Shojo anime and manga cater toward girls and young women, so the kabedon is typically used as a romantic gesture. The term “kabedon” may have been coined by voice actor Ryoko Shintani in 2008, in which she referred to it as “a lovely situation.” The kabedon has since been seen in various anime and manga, including Say I Love You,Snow White with the Red Hair, and Junjou Romantica.

Fans began turning the kabedon into a meme. While the kabedon may be romantic in anime, fans quickly realized it would probably be creepy, or at least awkward, in real life, and began poking fun of the trope online. Fans began posting humorous fan art on sites like Tumblr, with seemingly random characters performing the act. For example, one popular piece of kabedon fan art comes from Tumblr user yokoshimako, who drew Sans from the video game Undertale performing the kabedon on the much taller character Papyrus. Artists also began to draw characters performing humorous variations of the kabedon, like pinning the other person to the wall with their leg rather than their arm. Anime and manga series also began poking fun at the trope.

Users began doing the Kabedon Challenge on TikTok. As knowledge of the kabedon became more widespread, TikTok users began reenacting it in real life and recording their reactions. Girls often had their boyfriends push them against the wall to see if the act was actually flirtatious in real life, though some users performed the act as a joke with their friends. Some Kabedon videos have surpassed millions of views.

How to Do the Kabedon

Back a consenting partner against a wall. Before performing the kabedon, make sure your partner is okay with it. Then, face them with their back toward the wall. Slowly approach them so they’re forced to back up until their back hits the wall. Don’t rush toward them, as the kabedon would then seem too aggressive rather than flirtatious. Even if you’re poking fun at the kabedon or doing it ironically, you’re still invading someone’s personal space. Make sure they’re okay with you doing so before continuing.

Press one hand against the wall and lean in. As you approach them, lightly slap one hand against the wall. Again, don’t do this too forcefully or the kabedon may seem too aggressive. Lean into your partner, getting as close as you’re both comfortable with. Offer them a flirty smile and make eye contact to fluster them. If you’re not trying to do a serious kabedon and are just joking around with a friend, try putting your foot against the wall instead.

Tilt their chin up or give them a kiss. If this is someone you’re romantically involved with, don’t be afraid to get physical. If they seem flustered, gently tease them and lift their chin so they look you in the eye. Say something flirty if you wish, then pull them in for a kiss. Remember, there’s a difference between your partner being flustered and being uncomfortable. If your partner seems intimidated, ask if they want you to continue. If they don’t, stop immediately. You can also play with their glasses or jewelry, or whisper in their ear. If you’re not romantically involved with your kabedon partner or you want to lighten the mood, try telling them a joke or making a funny face.

Do people really perform the kabedon?

The Japanese government once encouraged doing the kabedon. In 2022, because of Japan’s declining marriage and birthrates, the Japanese Cabinet Office released a document called “Research Document on Love,” which was intended to help shy people find love. One of the things encouraged in the document was the kabedon. However, the public did not approve of the idea, as it could easily turn into a scary situation. Some Japanese actors and TV personalities even commented on the document, explaining how some things are only romantic on TV. If someone you don’t like tries to kabadon you, you’d likely feel scared and intimidated rather than attracted to them. The public worried that this document would cause people to assume women enjoyed being on the receiving end of a kabedon, which could lead to an increase of sexual harassment.

Most people perform the kabedon as a joke with friends. Anime fans often enjoy poking fun at themselves and their favorite shows, so it’s no surprise the kabedon has turned into a meme within the anime community. Someone may find new and hilarious ways to pin their friends against the wall, like with both legs, or make funny faces to try to get them to laugh.

Some cosplayers perform the kabedon. Many anime fans love to cosplay as their favorite characters and sometimes act out scenes from the show. Cosplayers may take photos doing the kabedon while dressed as their favorite ship, or they may kabedon their friends to get a good laugh. Some fans may even ask cosplayers dressed as their favorite character to kabedon them.

Is the kabedon appropriate?

If both parties consent, it’s okay to do the kabedon. Whether you’re doing the kabedon sincerely or as a joke, consent is key. While some may think the kabedon is creepy or awkward in real life, others may enjoy it. However, never do the kabedon without asking permission, and stop if the person you’re pinning seems uncomfortable. If unwanted, the kabedon may be considered sexual harassment. Many people discourage doing the kabedon in real life because it often comes off as creepy or intimidating rather than flirtatious. Even if you mean no harm, you’re getting extremely close to someone and restricting their movement. That being said, it is unlikely that most people, especially in Japan, consider the kabedon appropriate to do in real life. In general, it is best left to fiction.