- Don’t talk yourself out of a good time. There is absolutely nothing embarrassing or strange about going to a bar by yourself.
- Arrive a little bit before the crowd is going to show up (if they’re going to show up at all) to secure priority seating at the bar.
- Chat it up with the bartender if it’s slow, or hang out with the other solo drinkers nearby. You can also just read a book or hang out on your phone.
Pick a bar that’ll suit your vibe.
When in doubt, pick a laid back neighborhood spot you know well. If you’re looking for a crazy night and you’ve got enough ibuprofen and time off the next day to nurse your hangover, hit up your local 4 am dance spot. If you want some cool conversation and a quieter night to yourself, look for a local dive with some chill energy. If you’re nervous about navigating a new bar you’ve never been to on your own, go somewhere you’re familiar with. This will really make this a lot less daunting. Want to try drinking alone but super nervous about being judged? Go to a hotel bar. Nobody judges solo drinkers in hotel bars since it’s so common.
Go before the crowd shows up.
Beat the rush so that you can sit wherever you want. Showing up to a packed bar isn’t the end of the world if you’ve got a bunch of friends to talk to anywhere, but you should be comfortable if you’re drinking alone! Show up early enough that you’ll have a decent range of seats to choose from. This will give you plenty of time to get comfortable and enjoy a few drinks. During the week, aim to get to the bar before 9 pm. You probably won’t have to worry about crowds if it’s a local haunt, though. If you’re going on the weekend, you’re best off getting to the bar between 4-6 pm before the big dinner rush hits. At a club or hype dance bar, you’ve usually got up to 11pm to slide in underneath the barrage of people. Pro tip: If you show up and there’s a line, you probably want a different spot.
Choose your seat when you arrive.
Most solo drinkers aim for the edges of the bar, but it’s up to you. If you want to keep your options open in a spot where you’ll be visible but out of the way, grab a seat near the corner of the bar. If you want to increase the odds someone talks to you, hit the middle of the bar, since people will naturally fill in around you to order and hang out. If you want to be left alone and enjoy the weather, sit at a table outside if there’s plenty of seating! If you’re going out to watch the big game among other fans, sit near the biggest TV, but not in the most central spot, since you may be bothered by riled up fans.
Order a drink.
Pick whatever you want unabashedly and without shame. Talk to the bartender to order your drink. If it’s busy, don’t chat up your bartender. Just order your drink and keep it moving. If it isn’t busy and you don’t know what to drink, ask the bartender for a recommendation since they’ll know what’s good here. If they ask you to pay and you hand them a card, they may ask “open or closed?” Pick open if you want to have multiple drinks–they’ll hold your card and keep a tab going. Pick closed if you’re just having one drink. Don’t you dare feel an ounce of shame for ordering something “uncool” or fruity. Sweet drinks are awesome–those hoppy IPA drinkers can kick rocks if they’ve got beef with your choice. Totally lost on what to order? Pick a draft beer or a simple well cocktail (like a rum and coke, or vodka soda). Nurse that while you peruse the menu.
Loosen up with your first drink or two.
Finish a round in solitude before you start chatting people up. They don’t call alcohol liquid courage for nothing! If you really want to talk to folks and meet people but you still feel a little weird about this whole drinking alone at a bar thing (which is totally okay), have a few drinks and take it all in. The alcohol combined with a few minutes of relaxation to catch your bearings will give you everything you need to talk it up with folks who approach you. Want a quick and easy way to get two drinks in you? Order a boilermaker, which is a shot of hard liquor and a beer. Many bars offer a “house” boilermaker based on their well whiskey and cheapest draft beer.
Bring some entertainment if it’s a chill night.
Take a book or laptop with you if you’re hoping to relax on your own. Nobody says you have to hang out with strangers, and if you’re looking for a laid-back night full of productive self love, bring your book or laptop with you. Find an out-of-the-way corner of the bar and break open your book or laptop after you’ve ordered your drink. If you bring a laptop, sit near an outlet and aim for corner seating at a small table or the edge of the bar. Watch out if it’s the weekend and after 4 pm—some drunk bozo could spill a drink near you! If you want to just chill on your phone, that’s totally fine. Just know that your phone sends the message that you don’t want to be approached in the way a book or laptop won’t, since your head will be down. Books are great because they’re easy to pick up and put down. You will also get some fun convos with strangers who are interested by your literary selection. Plus, you’ll just look smart if you’re trying to meet someone. Want entertainment that doubles as a conversation piece? Bring a crossword puzzle. That way you can ask strangers for help with hints!
Enjoy some people watching to trigger interactions.
You don’t have to do anything while you drink if you don’t want to. Enjoy the ambiance, lean back in your chair, and just take it all in. This is your best option if you want to actively talk to people. By sitting up and looking around, you send the signal that you’re open and available for interaction. You can totally check in on the TVs that are on in the corners of the bar if you’d like to. You’ll still seem relatively open for convo if your head is up.
Chat it up with people near you.
Don’t be shy about leaning over and talking to your seatmates. Want to comment on whatever’s playing on the TV? Really like your neighbor’s outfit? Go ahead and lean over to share a word or two with whoever is sitting next to you. People sit at the bar intentionally to keep the door open for some convo, so chat it up! So long as you aren’t actively interrupting someone, you have no reason to talk yourself out of making small talk with a stranger. Let conversation develop organically. Don’t force it and let the convo flow where it may. This is a great way to put the moves on a guy or hit on a girl. Grab a seat near them and wait for an opening to comment on something notable going on nearby. You might ask them if they’ve seen whatever is playing on TV, or compliment their drink choice.
Offer to cover a round if you make a friend.
Buy a drink for somebody to build even more rapport. Say you’re talking to someone casually at the bar. The convo is flowing and one of you finishes their drink. Offer to buy the next set of beverages to lock in the conversation with a kind (and cool) gesture. This will signal to them that you really enjoy hanging out and talking, which is perfect if you want to keep vibing with them. You can even pull the laid back “I’ll have what they’re having” move out if you want to seem really slick and mysterious. If the two of you keep talking and the vibe is right, ask if they’d like to hang out some time. Then, ask for their phone number and hit them up soon to kick off a beautiful friendship (or relationship!).
Hang out with the bartender if it’s slow.
If nobody is around, chat it up with the workers at the bar. It’s boring to work at a bar when nobody is really drinking to begin with, so don’t hesitate to borrow the bartender’s ear a bit and talk–they’ll probably appreciate it. You could ask them if they’ve seen any good movies later, what their favorite nearby restaurant is, or if they’ve got thoughts on whatever is playing on the TV. Don’t try to chat up the bartender if they’re obviously busy or there are a ton of people around they’ve got to serve. Some bartenders aren’t chatty. If this is your bartender, don’t take it personally.
Go back to establish rapport with the locals.
If you enjoyed yourself, go back and become a regular! If you went to a local bar and you had a fun time reading, hanging out, enjoying a delicious cocktail, or whatever, go back. Eventually, the other regulars will notice you and begin talking to you like an old friend. The staff will notice you coming back and start treating you like more of an acquaintance or friend. It takes a while to get “regular” status, but it’s well worth it!
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