What is a “Reply Guy”?
A “reply guy” excessively responds to women’s social media posts. “Reply guy” is an internet slang term for someone whose comments are often condescending, annoying, occasionally inappropriate, and always unsolicited. “Reply guys” can be any gender, but the term is most strongly associated with men replying to women’s posts. In some cases, their responses are angry and they believe the poster is obligated to respond. “Reply guys” often show up in the replies to tweets made by women with a large number of followers. Journalist Amanda Marcotte was quoted in a Raw Story article as saying that “reply guys” would email female journalists before Twitter existed. “Reply guys” are sometimes seen responding to men’s social media posts. There is such a thing as “reply girls,” but they don’t post direct responses. “Reply girls” are female YouTubers who post videos responding to popular or trending videos. Their thumbnails often have sexually suggestive images or text.
A 2018 viral X (formerly Twitter) thread identified 9 types of “reply guys.” Users @sbarolo and @shrewshrew came up with a list of the 9 types of “reply guys”. They posted about each type of “reply guy,” including examples of comments, why they were problematic, and any special warnings. They broke the list down into 3 categories of 3 types each and labeled them Means Well, Focused on “Real Problems”, and Malicious. An additional subset of the “reply guy” is the Charge Your Phone Guy. Whenever someone posts a screenshot from their phone, this “reply guy” comments, “Charge your phone,” no matter the image or context.
The first “reply guys” were users who often replied to famous people. Originally, “reply guys” was a mildly derogatory term for people who constantly replied to celebrities who were active on social media, specifically Donald Trump. As the slang term became more popular, it’s meaning shifted to refer to men who make sexist or annoying comments on women’s posts.
Common “Reply Guy” Behaviors
They insert themselves into conversations or threads. “Reply guys” always comment even when their input is unnecessary or unrelated to the topic. They may make multiple responses to the original post and other comments to prolong the conversation, gain recognition, or hold the poster’s attention. They may continue to respond with advice, explanations, and contrarian comments even after it’s clear that they have nothing interesting to offer.
They make flirty and overly familiar comments. In some cases, the comments are overtly sexual, but they can be any compliment that has nothing to do with the original post. Some compliments are overly flowery, such as, “That color brings a rosy bloom to your cheeks, m’lady.”
Their comments are often sexist. Many of the replies to women’s social media posts contain “benevolent” sexism. This type of sexism is less aggressive and often has a veneer of kindness. The “reply guy” acts as a protector and, most of all, a teacher who is there to show the female poster how the world really works. Most “reply guys” fall under this label, but some can show a more hostile form of sexism with abusive or threatening comments.
9 Types of “Reply Guys”
Means Well These “reply guys” are generally harmless. They may leave extremely annoying comments on every one of a woman’s social media posts, but they usually “mean well.” Of all the types of “reply guys,” these are the ones that are the least menacing. The Life Coach: The Life Coach is a tough-love sort of guy who wants the poster to “toughen up, buttercup.” He’s here to help her in her time of trouble, but his comments sound like victim-blaming. For example: “Yeah, but how were you dressed? You need to dress like a programmer, so guys like him aren’t tempted to make a move,” or “Why didn’t you say something when it happened? You can’t expect a guy at work to know you don’t want his attention.” Cookie Manster: The Cookie Manster wants credit for doing the bare minimum. He supports women, but not if it means actually doing something. His comments refocus any issue or situation, so it’s about him. For example: “Not all men are bad guys! To my knowledge, I’ve never harassed a woman,” or “I have three girls on my team, and I treat them exactly the same as the men.” The Mansplainer: This guy gets his name from the term “mansplaining,” which is when a man explains something to a woman because he assumes she knows nothing about it. And that’s exactly what this “reply guy” loves to do in his comments. For example: “Well actually, that’s a misconception about what ‘mansplaining’ means,” or “That idea was proven wrong years ago by a guy, oh, I think his name was Joe something. You’re welcome.”
Focused on “Real Problems” The “reply guys” who are Focused on “Real Problems” are more annoying than the Means Well guys. They also cause more damage. While they’re not particularly threatening, there’s often an undercurrent of misogyny to their comments. It’s generally a vague mistrust of women as opposed to focusing on a specific person. The Tone Police: The Tone Police “reply guy” is here to tell the original poster that she’s overreacting or getting too emotional. They shift the conversation away from the issue to how it’s being discussed. For example, “Hey, hey, hey…aren’t you getting a little upset about this. Your angry tone isn’t productive,” or “You’d be taken more seriously if you didn’t get so emotional.” Himpathy: This “reply guy” is all about making sure men are taken care of, with their welfare at the center of every issue. They want to redirect any sympathy women may receive back toward men. Their comments often focus on reframing the conversation to the male perspective. For example: “How will mec ever be able to approach a woman without being branded a harasser?” or “This is just a witch hunt. Men are getting fired if they look at a woman without any due process or investigation.” The Prestige: The Prestige “reply guys” are the defenders of the status quo. They believe bad behavior toward women should be excused if the man is important or famous. His comments reveal that he believes men contribute to society while women are just complainers. For example, “Maybe he wasn’t great to his wife, but he was a creative genius, so maybe it was worth it,” or “We live in a meritocracy. If you want to get ahead, you just have to work harder.”
Malicous The Malicious “reply guys” are the worst of the three categories. These guys dial up the misogyny, so there’s no mistaking how they feel. They may resort to personal attacks and questioning the word of a specific woman instead of making misogynistic generalizations. The Gaslighter: This “reply guy” is out to make their target feel confused and start to doubt themselves. Gaslighting in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse where one person makes the other person feel like something is wrong with them. This guy doesn’t mean well. In his comments, he tries to minimize sexism or pretend it doesn’t exist. For example, “Are you sure you’re not just overreacting? I’ve never seen him grab a female like that,” or “Catcalling isn’t a big deal. You should just take it as a compliment.” The Sealion: The Sealion “reply guy” wants to shut down any discussion. They get their name from the Wondermark online comic by David Malkin. Their comments often demand evidence instead of engaging with the point. For example: “Can you provide specific statistics of women facing gender-based discrimination? I haven’t seen any evidence of it in my company,” or “That’s an interesting point. Can you give me examples of research that shows this? I just want to learn.” Trolls, Creeps, & Fools: These guys are the worst offenders in the “reply guy” universe. They make openly sexist and often racist comments designed to offend. They resort to insults when they’re confronted about their inappropriate comments. For example, “You’re too hot. That poor guy couldn’t help himself,” or “You’re too ugly to harass.”
How to Respond to a “Reply Guy”
Reply with a good putdown and expose them to your followers. Landing the perfect creative insult can feel great and help point out the “reply guy’s” bad behavior to the rest of your followers. Less annoying followers will often pile on the “reply guy,” which may discourage him from commenting in the future. Some “reply guys” may see any response from you as encouragement, so this approach can backfire.
Ignore them, and maybe they’ll give up. One of the easiest ways to deal with a “reply guy” is to ignore them. In spite of what a “reply guy” may think, you don’t owe them a response. Unfortunately, ignoring “reply guys” makes some of them even more persistent. Sometimes, “reply guys” may escalate their behavior if ignored. If this happens, simply ignoring them might not be enough. Ignoring a “reply guy” means you may still see his responses.
Mute or block them to stop seeing their comments. In 2020, Twitter (now X) rolled out a feature allowing you more control over who you interact with on the platform. When you post, you can limit who can reply. The “reply guy” will still be able to see, share, and like your tweet, though. Or you can block them completely. In 2023, the decentralized social media network Mastodon added “nudges” that reminded users commenting on a stranger’s post to be respectful, kind, and open to fight “reply guy” comments.
If you feel unsafe, contact the authorities. Be aware of the signs of cyberstalking and cyberbullying, like hateful or threatening comments, responses meant to humiliate you, and unwanted, persistent messages. There are measures you can take to avoid being stalked on social media, but if you feel scared or anxious contact your local police or find contact information for a group or organization that deals with cyberstalking at https://victimsofcrime.org/getting-help/. Dealing with an online stalker can be confusing and frightening because it’s a crime that can be difficult to prosecute. Keep a log to track comments. Take screenshots and note the times.
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