We are quite used to seeing the matrimonial advertisements of a bride looking for a suitor, or vice versa with various requirements including height, profession, complexion, caste, and even salary packages. But how would you react, if you came across one where the most important requirement for a groom was to be “dead"?
Recently, a photo of a matrimonial advertisement on paper was shared on social media, which has now become the talk of the town. It talks about ghost marriage, which has piqued the curiosity of many on the internet. The advertisement read, “Bridegroom needed for Ghost marriage". It further offered information about the bride, which stated that the ghost marriage was being arranged for a young girl who died 30 years ago. The advertisement further stated that they were looking for a young man who died around 30 years ago and belongs to the same caste as the bride. As shocking as it may sound, it is true.
The person who shared the photo wrote, “Perhaps this is an advertisement that only we Tulu people can understand. I don’t know if any other race/region has something like this, but we do." Well, according to her, a particular family might be facing a lot of trouble in getting the daughter of the family married. While discussing ancestry, it reopened the chapters of the history of the family, about family members who died unmarried. It was found that a woman died before getting married, and the reason for her death is unknown. It has been known that her spirit has been wandering amid the living with a desire to get married. The family believes that if her spirit is not married off first, then no other woman in the family will be able to get married. The hunt for a suitor began when a family had lost their male member a long time ago.
She further explained that as per the traditions of the community, the family members of the groom have to consume certain food items like tea and sheera (Suji halwa) and agree to the bride’s family’s conditions. Her family should also first see the house of the groom and then the dates should be finalised.
Invites should be sent out and wedding shopping should begin. Where the bride is expected to sit, some saree, flowers, bangles and clothes are kept.
In the Tulunadu region of Dakshin Kannada, a community believes in solemnising weddings between the dead during the inauspicious month of Aati, which falls during monsoon season, which is the time the spirits roam amid the living. Kule Madime or the marriage of the spirits has been made a social tradition that is not influenced by superstition but by faith. It has been found that often such practices act as a catharsis for grieving families. But, imagine seeing a matrimonial advertisement, for such a ghost marriage.
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