Malishka Mendonsa, popularly known as RJ Malishka, made her foray into acting with ‘Tumhari Sulu’ in 2017, but she likes to consider her recent film ‘Parde Mein Rehne Do’ as her first acting chop. The short film sees her essaying the role of a 32-year-old woman, Kuhu, who is trying to find love online after leaving her toxic husband, while simultaneously dealing with body image issues and trying to hide a big scar on her face.
“I really manifested Kuhu because I don’t think I could have had a better debut as a protagonist. Some people say that this is not my first film, but it actually is because when I played Tumhari Sulu, I was a radio jockey in it. So, I am going to officially call this my first film because it’s my first as a protagonist and as an actor,” Malishka told News18 during a freewheeling conversation.
The actress opened up about her own insecurities, how she deals with them and her views on relationships. Malishka also shared a hilarious anecdote about how she was once banned from a popular dating app.
Excerpts:
Tell us about the role and how you prepared for it.
I was so excited when I got the script, because of the kind of job I do, and the kind of person I am, there is rarely a time when we are not smiling, or we are intense. In our job, we are more responsible for bringing energy to the table. The job of this character was completely different. She’s got an internalized world, there are not many dialogues that she’s speaking eventually, because she is constantly messaging the person, she’s met on a dating website while she’s on the edge of a divorce with a very toxic man. I was not sure whether I’d get this role. But when my director told me that Amazon Mini TV has selected me, I went on screaming around the house. From then on, the preparation began. My character rides a scooter so the first thing I did was to learn how to ride a bullet.
I’ve had to strip down every bit of glamour. Earlier radio used to be a faceless medium and I went to work wearing pyjamas early in the morning. Then digital came along and every day there is an interview so I’m dressing up every day and doing my hair and makeup regularly. And suddenly, I come back to a place where I’m being seen on screen but they’ve told me to strip it all down again.
One of the other things I did in prep was my clothes and perfume. My nails are generally very glamorously done so I cut them off and it was tough for me. I even chose underclothes that would make me look a certain way and also feel a certain way. So those were my general outward preparations.
Inwardly, the director told me to sit down in a corner, not to engage and not to smile.
You had to completely change your personality for this character…
Outward personality, yes. But like I keep telling people, this was a very tough role for me to play. And it also got easy when I sat down and accessed the inner Malishka. You will not see the Malishka you know, but it doesn’t mean that she is not Malishka. I am so enamoured with the movie; I’m telling every girl to watch it because I feel like the message of the movie is much bigger than me.
Everyone’s tremendously surprised because the Malishka you see is bright or vivacious, but I had to literally sit down and say, ‘Where in your life have you felt like Kuhu,’ and there are so many instances.
Kuhu’s life journey is about outward body shaming say from a toxic husband or parents who do not understand or from the world at large, but a bigger journey is where she has to deal with her own self and her own insecurities.
What do you do to overcome those moments of insecurity?
It takes a lot of self-talk, it takes a lot of friends, and it takes you trusting yourself eventually. And mostly reminding yourself of what you have, what you’ve done, and how far you’ve come. When I was growing up and coming into shape, I used to talk to people with my hands in front of me. Because I was so conscious of the way I was growing up. And then people would start teasing you. There were men on the roads who would elbow you, you were getting pinched, and you were just 13-14. I know all of us have gone through this. I’m only voicing this. It was really a difficult phase in my life, but you have to make yourself realize that these are self-imposed doubts, and you have to break them.
I’m not the same person who stood with their hands covering them. I am not that person anymore who couldn’t stand up in front of my classmates and talk. It’s things you tell yourself, it’s good people around you but mostly you have to find a way to support yourself.
The world throws enough at us, whether you are Katrina Kaif or whether you are a common person, there is nobody who will not tell you junk about yourself.
One of my directors of a television show once told me, “Malishka, who are you kidding? Television is all about tall, thin, fair, straight-hair girls.” Because I had aspirations, I wanted to be this person, but I realised it’s also about people with talents. It’s about people who will leave a message with the world. It’s about people who can do more.
The film sees a 30-year-old divorcee trying to find love again. What are your views on marriage and divorce?
Recently I told my friend, who is a manifester, that films will keep happening and I will act more because I have manifested this enough. So, we have to find a man accordingly. Tall dark and handsome were never my criteria. It is much, much deeper. I hope I will find someone and if I don’t then that’s perfectly okay.
The whole search for love is a tough scene because then you get stuck in that. And it’s not like you don’t need it. You need love, you need to be with someone, perhaps if that is what you want. But I really believe you have to first be, not complete, but on the way to that within yourself.
I haven’t been on dating apps. Fortunately or unfortunately, the one I tried banned me.
Banned you?
A lot of my friends are on this dating app that I will not name but it’s a popular one and they kept telling me to get on it. So just for fun, when I was in Ko Samui for my sister’s birthday, I made my profile thinking there are just a handful of people on this island. I put my sister’s birthday, which was the next day because I thought if we meet someone we can all go out together. I put my pet name, which is Malla but I put my correct email id. Then I tried to put side profile photos of me, but they demanded frontal photos, and I did but after almost 10 minutes, I get a message saying you have been banned, and this is for life (laughs).
I think I got stood up by the website because they thought Malishka was not getting on to our site. After that, I gave up the attempt.
Are you like the old-school person who believes in meeting people, or do you believe online dating can work?
Of course, it can work. I just don’t know if I have the patience. Because all my friends who’ve been on it, mostly women, have been like, ”what kind of people are these?’
The thing with online dating and I am a little old school like that is it’s too quick. People are doing everything that a Bollywood movie shows in three hours in the first few hours after meeting and I’m not up for that. I believe in depth, in romance. People meet, they kiss, they do everything and the next day, they are just gone. There are words like ghosting, breadcrumbing, monkeying, and stonewalling. Having said that I totally get that men and women need to bond and for those it works, it is great. I wish I was that person but I’m not.
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