Corny & Cheesy Birthday Jokes
Drop a hilarious (and slightly cringey) joke to spread birthday cheer. If you’re looking for a memorable birthday message for a loved one, share a corny and cheesy joke to make them laugh! The following options will help you celebrate the occasion and brighten up the birthday girl or boy’s day: Why didn’t Han Solo enjoy his cake? It was Chewie. How do dogs celebrate their birthday? With a paw-ty. What does a mechanic do on his birthday? Calibrate. What do you call your 21st birthday? Your beer-thday. What was the nerd’s favorite party game? Hide and geek. What is a vampire’s favorite flavor of icing? Blood orange. When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When you slice it. What kind of fish can blow out birthday candles? A blowfish. How did the birthday clown get to the party? In a Clown Victoria. What’s the best kind of birthday cake to serve a panda? A pancake. What did the condiment say at the party? “Mayo I have some cake?” What do you say to a goldfish on its birthday? “Have a fin-tastic day!” What did the fisherman give his wife for her birthday? A can of worms. Why did the banana go to the birthday party? Because it was a-peeling. What’s a frog’s favorite part of a birthday cake? The croak-olate frosting. What happens when robbers crash a birthday party? They take the cake. What did the chihuahua sing to the birthday girl? “Yappy birthday to you.” Why did the emoji leave the birthday party early? She had all the feelings. What did the superhero say when he put on his party hat? “I am Hatman.” What did the hamster wish for on its birthday? A wheel-y great year ahead. Why did the bread get nervous at the birthday party? Everyone was toasting. Why shouldn’t you invite a cow to a birthday party? They bring pies, not cake. What did the dog say to the cat on her birthday? “You don’t smell a day over 7!” What did the tree say at the birthday party? “I can’t be-leaf it’s your birthday again!” Why was the bee at the birthday party? To wish the birthday boy a hap-bee birthday. How do ponies let you know they don’t want to go to a birthday party? They say, “Neigh.” How many dads does it take to bake a cake? One…but it takes him 3 beers and 4 trips to the grocery store. Do you know what it means when you have your 21st birthday? You can no longer count your age on your fingers and toes. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays. What happened when the worker played musical chairs at the office birthday party? He took his boss’s seat, and now he’s unemployed.
Funny Birthday Puns
Include a witty, birthday-related pun to get the laughs going. To catch someone off guard (in the best way possible), throw out a birthday-inspired pun to celebrate their special day. These puns are cute, clever, and guaranteed to stand out from other birthday messages: What do you call a three-layer birthday cake? Delicious. Why do candles love birthday parties? They get totally lit. What do you always get on your birthday? Another year older. How does a birthday cake say goodbye? It says, “it’s been slice.” What’s a birthday present’s favorite genre of music? Wrap music. How are birthdays like an eclipse? You may black out at some point. Why did the nun celebrate her birthday a day early every year? Habit. Why didn’t Ryan Gosling have any birthday cake? He’d had Kenough. Why did the toddler put candles on the toilet? To have a birthday potty. What is the best way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once. Why should you always invite penguins to your party? They bring the ice. Why was the birthday cake hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake! How are birthdays like margaritas? The more you have, the less you care. What did one plate say to the other plate on their birthday? “Lunch is on me.” Why do cats get more birthday parties than dogs? Because they have 9 lives. Why did the birthday candle go to school? It was hoping to get a little brighter. What did one candle say to the other candle? “Don’t birthdays just burn you up?” What should you say to a donkey on his birthday? Don’t let them pin anything on you. Why do candles feel at home on a birthday cake? Because they’re surrounded by old flames. What do birthday cakes and baseball games have in common? They both need batters. Why did the birthday girl sprinkle sugar under her pillows? So she could have sweet dreams. Why did the giraffe leave her party early? She hurt her neck leaning over to blow out the candles. What happens if no one shows up to your birthday party? You get to have your cake and eat it too! What’s the difference between 17 and 18? One more candle and a lot more independence. Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom. What do you give a 5,000-pound elephant for its birthday? I don’t know, but you better hope he likes his gift. What do you get when you cross a birthday cake with a boxer? A heavyweight champion of desserts. Why should you celebrate your birthday in a pool after age 50? There’s no chance of the candles starting a fire. Why do people snore more when they get older? It’s nature’s way of letting those they live with know they’re still alive. What happened when the past, the present and the future arrived at the birthday party with the same gift? It was tense.
One-Liner Birthday Jokes
Share a snappy one-liner to make the birthday boy or girl smile. If the birthday boy or girl is known for being funny, step up your game with a creative one-liner. The following lines aren’t your typical puns or dad jokes, making them great options to show off your sense of humor and really get the laughs going: Age is a state of whine. You’re not old—you’re mid-century modern. I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you. Never let an arsonist light your birthday candles. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year. My favorite flavor of cake is “Baked By Professionals.” You’re not getting older—you’re getting better at denial. Don’t worry about tomorrow—just focus on the presents. It was an emotional birthday—even the cake was in tiers. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Have a grate birthday! (Unless you think that’s too cheesy.) It’s easier to remember your age if you don’t change it every year. It’s not polite to ask a woman her age…especially if she knows karate. My best birthday party tick is showing up when the cake is being served. I always feel warm on my birthday because people don’t stop toasting me. Some people get sad on their birthday. Those people need more ice cream. Women live longer than men…especially men who forget their wives’ birthdays. When it comes to cutting the birthday cake: measure twice, stuff it in your face 3 times. I like my birthdays like I like my coffee: with a little bit of whiskey when no one’s looking. It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies. That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime. My girlfriend’s birthday is in a week and she said, “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring!” So I got her nothing. You know you’re getting old when the heat from your birthday candles singes off your eyebrows. Why aren’t we supposed to look a gift horse in the mouth? What if he’s got another gift under his tongue? The emergency department is on speed dial in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing out the candles. Birthdays are like roller coasters: there are a lot of ups and downs, and someone is going to throw up at some point. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up, remember…you can always change your birthday on Facebook!
Birthday Jokes About Aging
Crack a joke about the downsides of aging to playfully tease them. Bring up the birthday boy or girl’s lack of energy, or tease them about the limited number of birthdays they have left. It’s the perfect way to lighten the mood and lift their spirits, especially if they’re hitting a milestone birthday or seem a bit down about getting older. I may be old this year, but…what was I saying? You know you’re old when you and your teeth don’t sleep together. Birthday math: 60 is the new 40. And 9 o’clock is the new midnight. I’m not saying you’re old, but your birth certificate is in hieroglyphics. Buck up: You’re younger than the Mona Lisa, and people still visit her. Why don’t adults have superhero birthday parties? Cake and spandex. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. I celebrated with a destination birthday. That destination was my pharmacist. You know you’re getting older when you have to use GPS to locate your boobs. In honor of your birthday, I had a facelift…so I could look surprised at your party. The old you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake. As long as you don’t have to vacuum the dust out of your crow’s feet, you’re not that old. You know you’re getting old when you got to an antique auction and 3 people bid on you. Thanks to Facebook, I know when everyone’s birthday is, including the people I don’t like. Why does everyone in my family keep reminding me how old I am? Because age is a relative thing. How do you know you’re old? When you can’t read this birthday joke because the font is too small. You know you’re getting older when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. One minute you’re young and fun. The next, you look forward to senior discount day at the grocery store. How do you know you’re old? You get out of bed in the morning and find that you hurt yourself while sleeping. Celebrate like you did when you were born: Scream because you don’t know where you are or how you know these people. Weight-bearing exercise is really important as we get older, which is why you should lift two gallons of ice cream on your birthday.
Birthday Jokes For Kids
Throw out a funny birthday joke to make little ones laugh. If you’re celebrating a young person (or someone with a kid’s sense of humor), drop a silly line to crack them up. These birthday jokes and puns are cute clever, cheesy, and perfect for anyone who can appreciate a dad joke: What is a ghost’s favorite cake? I-scream cake. What does every birthday end with? The letter Y. What kind of music scares balloons? Pop music! What goes up but never comes down? Your age! Why do cats love birthdays? They love to purr-ty. How does Neil Young feel on his birthday? Neil Old. What does a turtle do on his birthday? He shell-a-brates! What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye, matey! What do cavemen do on their birthday? They go clubbing. What’s the best classic to read on your birthday? Macbirth! How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish them. What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy birthday! How do racoons celebrate their birthdays? They get trashed! Why did the cupcake go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy. What do you say to a parakeet on its birthday? “Happy bird-day!” What kind of cake did Peter Pan eat on his birthday? A pan-cake! What did the elephant want for its birthday? A trunk full of presents! What should you say to an alligator on his birthday? Snappy birthday! Why couldn’t the pony sing happy birthday? He was feeling a little hoarse. What do you say to a female sheep on her birthday? Happy birthday to ewe. How do you know if a donut is bored at a birthday party? It looks glazed over. How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday? He felt his presents. What did the big flower say to the little flower on its birthday? “Happy birthday, bud!” What did the teddy bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me—I’m stuffed.
Birthday Knock-Knock Jokes
Throw out a classic knock-knock joke for loads of laughter. Some knock-knock jokes have a reputation for being corny and cliché, but the following lines are the perfect blend of cheesy and charming. Here are some hilarious options to make the birthday boy or girl feel good: Knock-knock. Who’s there? I sing. I sing who? Icing is my favorite part of the cake! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Woo-hoo, it’s your birthday! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t forget your birthday? Knock-knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the presents are mine! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Winnie. Winnie who? Winnie going to open the presents? Knock-knock. Who’s there? Zoo. Zoo who? Zoo want to go out for your birthday? Knock-knock. Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up and blow out the candles! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Icy. Icy who? Icy you trying to crash my party! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda wish you a happy birthday. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for your birthday celebration. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut forget it’s your big day! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good reason not to celebrate your birthday? Knock-knock. Who’s there? Water. Water who? Water you doing for your birthday? Knock-knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce wish you a happy birthday. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Beer. Beer who? Beer-thday greetings! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Gus. Gus who? Gus how old I am today! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan a piece of your cake! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Mark. Mark who? Mark your calendars…my birthday’s just around the corner! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Stopwatch. Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and have a happy birthday! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Bacon. Bacon who? Bacon a cake for your birthday! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who? Alpaca the cake, you get the presents. Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow says happy birthday to moo! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice cake fit any more candles?! You’re getting old! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just me here to celebrate your birthday! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? Tank you for inviting me to your birthday party! Knock-knock. Who’s there? Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear a birthday joke?
Funny Birthday Quotes
Share a famous birthday quote when you’re at a loss for words. If you’re struggling to find the right joke or sentiment, get help from someone else! Choose an author, celebrity, or public figure that the other person admires, and use their words to share your well wishes. A silly quote is an easy way to get some laughs and make someone feel cared for. “Looking 50 is great—if you’re 60.” —Joan Rivers “Birthdays are just participation awards in life.” —Brian Millward “I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.” —Phyllis Diller “Nice to be here? At my age, it’s nice to be anywhere.” —George Burns “Birthdays are like bank holidays: most of us have to work.” —Jordan Trafford “The older you get, the better you get. Unless you are a banana.” —Betty White “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake” —Bob Hope "You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book." ―Will Ferrell “Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” —Charles Schultz "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." ―Lucille Ball “By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.” —Billy Crystal “I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” —George Burns Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” —Will Rogers “Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you have not committed.” —Anthony Powell “Inside every older person is a younger person—wondering what the hell happened.” —Terry Pratchett “If you’re going to take a nap at this age, let us know—we wouldn’t want to bury you by accident.” —Deepak Kashyap “You’ve heard of the three ages of man: Youth, middle age, and you’re looking wonderful.” —Cardinal Spellman “You can live up to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.” —Woody Allen “As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” —Sir Norman Wisdom “Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.” —Ogden Nash “Birthdays are a great time to stop and appreciate gravity. Sure, it makes things sag as you get older, but it also keeps your cake from flying all over the room so you don’t have to chase it.” —Greg Tamblyn
Other Ways to Say “Happy Birthday”
Send a short and witty message to share your well wishes. Humor is one of the best ways to deepen your relationship. So, craft a silly message to shower the birthday boy or girl with love. Here are some alternative ways to say “happy birthday,” whether you’re writing a card, sending a text, or saying your wish in person: Happy womb expulsion day! Happy one year closer to retirement! Best birthday wishes to my favorite senior citizen. Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Have a drink for me on your big day! Or two…or four!! Older? Definitely. Wiser? Not so much. Happy birthday! Don’t count the years. Count the hairs left on your head! Happy birthday, old sport. Cheers to another year…closer to death. If we were cats, I’d spend all 9 lives with you. Happy birthday, cutie! Happy birthday to the proof that getting older doesn’t make you wiser. Happy birthday. Remember, it’s better to be over the hill than under it! Your birthday is the best excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up! Don’t forget to smile (while you still have teeth). Happy birthday, ya old fart! Sweet, smart, and gorgeous…but enough about me. Happy birthday to you! A true friend remembers your birthday but not your age. Happy birthday, bud! Happy birthday, you old timer. Don’t hurt yourself blowing out all those candles! You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct. Happy birthday, you fossil! It’s time to celebrate the oldest person I know. Happy birthday to an ancient artifact! Happy, happy birthday! I kept the receipt for your gift, just in case you didn’t make it! Whatever you do, don’t let aging get you down. It might be too difficult to get back up! If anyone calls you old this year, don’t stress…just throw your cane and dentures at them!
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