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Talking to Your Mom
Ask yourself why you want to wear makeup. Identify the reasons that you want to wear makeup. Don't tell your mom you want to wear makeup because everyone else is wearing it. That reason usually doesn't work.Some good reasons to wear makeup may include: To express your personal style or experiment with your look To cover up your acne or dark spots because you feel self-conscious To enhance some of your features To dress up for special occasions
Have a party with your mom. Tell your mom that you would like to have a night in with her. As part of the festivities, ask your mom to show you how to apply makeup. This can be a bonding experience for you and your mom, and you can show her that you value her input. A girls night is also a good way to gauge how your Mom feels about you wearing makeup. You may say, “Hey Mom. Could you show me how to apply makeup? I want to do it right." You can also say, “I know you don’t really want me to wear makeup yet, but can you show me so I’ll be ready when the time comes?”
Choose a good time to talk. Approach your Mom when she is not busy and has time to talk. Long car rides and walks are good opportunities to approach her. Also make sure that she is in a good mood and is not irritated about something. You can say, “Hey Mom, can we talk?” or “I wanted to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?” If you can’t find the right time, you can say, “I need to talk to you about something. When is a good time for you?”
Explain why you want to wear makeup. Be clear, direct, and honest about why you want to wear makeup. Be sure to emphasize that you know you do not need to wear makeup to look good, but this is just something you would like to try out. You may say, “I feel really self-conscious about my acne. Wearing makeup would help me feel a lot better about it.” You may say,”Hey Mom, I would like to start wearing some makeup. I just want to enhance my looks a little bit. Is this ok?” You could also say, “You know I was invited to a birthday party this weekend. I would love to wear a little makeup for the event. What do you think about that?” If your Mom wears makeup, you could say, “You always look so beautiful with your makeup. Can I wear a little?” It may help to write down your thoughts before you talk to your mom. It may help you communicate more clearly.
Listen to her response. Once you explain your reasons for wanting to wear makeup, listen to what she has to say. This is especially important if she is against you wearing makeup. Even if you do not like her answer, try to understand her point of view. You can say, “I understand where you are coming from” or “I get it. That makes sense.”
Negotiating with Your Mother
Start small. Your mom may say that you are too young for makeup or that you do not need to wear makeup. Agree with her, and then tell her that you only want to wear a little bit of makeup. Tell her that you do not want to wear a full face of makeup- just a little lip gloss, mascara, or eye shadow. You may say, “You’re right Mom. I’m too young to wear a ton of makeup every day. How about a little lip gloss instead?” You may also say, “I know that makeup does not make me beautiful. I only want to wear a little bit to enhance my features. Maybe I can just wear some mascara.”
Offer to pay for your makeup. Your mom may object because she does not want to pay for your makeup. Tell her that you will use your allowance or do some extra chores to cover the cost. This shows your mom that you understand the value of money and hard work. She will also know how serious you are about wearing makeup. You may say, “I know you work hard to provide for our family. I’d be happy to use my allowance to pay for my makeup.”
Ask about special occasions. Ask your mom if you can wear makeup for special occasions only. This is a nice compromise because you will not be wearing makeup every single day. Ask her to help you come up with a look that she thinks is appropriate. You can say, “I understand that you don’t want me to wear makeup to school every day. How about I only wear makeup for special occasions?” You could also say, “Could you show me how to apply some eye shadow or blush just for special occasions?”
Respect her answer. Your Mom may not be open to any of your suggestions. If she gives you a firm no, do not pout or get an attitude with her. This will only hurt your chances in the future. Accept her decision and show her that you are a mature young person. You can ask her again in a few months.
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