How to Build a Good Relationship with Your Manager

Getting to Know Your Boss

Ask appropriate personal questions. Learn about your boss’s general background. You don’t have to find out everything at once, but you can start by asking simple questions. Your co-workers might also be able to share some information with you. Where did your boss grow up? Where did he or she go to school? What did he or she study? When is your boss’s birthday? Is your boss married? Have a family? What are your boss’s hobbies? Avoid asking questions about religion, politics, and relationships.

Learn your boss’s work style. Acquire this valuable information by observing your boss and talking to co-workers who have been working at your job for longer than you. Is your boss a hand-on boss or is he or she less formal and involved? Is your boss a workaholic who arrives at the office early and leaves the office late each day? Does your boss get easily overwhelmed and stressed out?

Learn your boss’s moods and subtle clues. Through observation and time, you will be able to tell when your boss is stressed out or crunched for time. It is invaluable that you learn to read your boss. For example, if your boss is walking in a hurry with his or her eyes starring straight ahead, you will know it is not a good time to propose a new business idea.

Determine your boss's priorities. Unless your boss is the CEO of the company, your boss also has a boss. Ask your boss questions about his or responsibilities, expectations, and goals. Ask the following questions to your boss: What are your long-term career goals? What do you hope to accomplish in your current role? What can I do to make your job easier?

Communicating with Your Boss

Learn your boss’s preferred method of communication. Every boss is different. Ask your boss if he or she prefers to keep in touch through face-to-face meetings, email, text, phone, or maybe Skype.

Determine if your boss’s communication style is formal or informal. If you have a quick question can you just walk into your boss’s office and ask or do you need to make an appointment? The communication protocol is specific to your boss. Ask your boss, his or her secretary, or a co-worker if your communication relationship is supposed to be formal or informal. Always be respectful and professional even if you have an informal communication relationship with your boss.

Ask how often your boss wants to communicate with you. Find out if your boss wants updates multiple times throughout the day, at a certain time each day, once a week, or through scheduled meetings.

Clarify expectations. Right away, you and your boss need to discuss your job specifications and what is expected of you. It is when this information is unclear or unspoken that conflict and disappointment arise.

Improving Your Relationship with Your Boss

Show your boss respect. Your boss is your superior and has more authority in the company than you do. Behave in a respectful manner toward your boss. Be conscious of your tone, word choices, and attitude. Your boss has earned his or her position. Acting disrespectful toward your boss will only hurt your relationship and threaten your job security. A good rule of thumb is to pause briefly before you blurt something out. This pause will give you the opportunity to adjust your tone and the way you are going to respond to your boss. Instead of saying with a snippy attitude something like, "that's not part of my job description," when your boss asks you to do something new, try saying, "I will try my best with this new task." EXPERT TIP Elizabeth Douglas Elizabeth Douglas CEO of wikiHow Elizabeth Douglas is the CEO of wikiHow. Elizabeth has over 15 years of experience working and managing teams in the tech industry. She has held roles in multiple areas, including computer engineering, user experience, and product management. She received her BS in Computer Science and her Master of Business Administration (MBA) from Stanford University. Elizabeth Douglas Elizabeth Douglas CEO of wikiHow Think long-term. Elizabeth Douglas, the CEO of wikiHow, says your relationship with your boss is about more than just your day-to-day environment. She says, "Your relationship with your manager is one of the biggest factors in how much you will grow in your role and how likely you are to get promoted."

Don't make excuses. Do what you say you are going to do. If you fail to complete an assignment in the time that was allocated, own up to your failure. A boss will respect you much more if you are just honest verses always having an excuse on hand It is better to under promise and then to over deliver instead of the opposite. Don't take on more than you know you can handle in an attempt to impress your boss. Instead of saying, "I am late because there was traffic," try saying, "I apologize for my tardiness today, and I will leave earlier for work from now on."

Ask for feedback. By asking for feedback, you are showing your boss that you are open-minded, willing to improve, and truly invested in your job. Feedback from your superior will only help you do your job better.

Lend a helping hand. Lending a helping hand when one is needed, even when it is by doing something that is not part of your job, will demonstrate to your boss that you are a team player and not lazy.

Make requests, not complaints. It is far more professional to make requests and offer potential solutions opposed to just venting about things you don't like or don't think work. Be part of the solution, not the problem. Complaints come off as whiny and childish. Requests come off as solution-focused and respectful. Instead of saying, "I can't stand working with the marketing department! They are so inefficient!" Try saying, "I would like some help trying to figure out how to communicate more efficiently with the marketing department."

Avoid office politics and drama. Getting involved with office politics, drama, and personal conflicts in the workplace is a surefire way to show your boss how unprofessional you are. Do not do anything that causes tension or makes the workplace unpleasant. If you find yourself in a situation where you are involved in sort of conflict, discreetly discuss and end the issue with the person or people involved and more on.