Understanding Your Fear
Realize the purpose of fear. Fear is an evolutionary adaptation, which alerts us to potential danger or threats. When the fear response is activated, your nervous and adrenal systems become aroused, which produces physiological, psychological, and behavioral changes. When a threat is perceived, your autonomic nervous system is activated. This system is controlled by the amygdala. There are several theories that state that anxiety and fear are different in that fear is the emotional expression of a threat or anxiety response, but how exactly the physiological response is translated into emotion is largely based on several theories which involve amygdala, hypothalamus, and cortex.
Assess what triggers your fear response. The fear response is the body's natural way of dealing with a fearful situation. It also helps you in coping during stressful times. Having this type of reaction or having fear is not bad, because it helps us to adapt during very stressful times. However, when the fear response is activated in a situation where it is not needed, such as taking a test, you may experience physiological changes including muscle tension, restlessness, and increased heart rate. You might also have psychological changes, which can include trouble concentrating, irritability, or diminished judgment. Keep track of things that make you fearful or worried. Do you see themes? For example, are you constantly worried or anxious about your health or money? Understanding what triggers your fear responses will help you figure out how to overcome them.
Don't try to completely eliminate fear from your life. Having fear is a biological response to an outside stimulus. Therefore, it cannot be taken away completely. Thus, having NO fear at all is not a very attainable goal. However, fear does become a problem when it is disproportionate to what you are experiencing or when it keeps you from trying new things. Make your goal to change how you perceive fearful stimuli, instead of getting rid of your natural fear response.
Changing Your Thinking
Challenge fearful thinking. It is very easy to listen to thoughts that warn us about danger. Sometimes these thoughts keep us safe. But when these thoughts keep you from living to your fullest, you can test and challenge these fear statements. Your thoughts will be different depending on what makes you afraid. Possible scenarios can include having a test or speech coming up, or being afraid of social situations. You might also be afraid to take a leap such as going back to school or applying for a new job. Test your thoughts to see if your fear is out of proportion to the situation. For example, you might be afraid to give a speech. You think that you will freeze up during the speech and embarrass yourself. Test out this thought by asking yourself the following questions: “What is the evidence for this thought?” “Does this thought always hold true for you?” “Does this thought take into account the positive and negative possibilities of the situation?”
Tell yourself affirming statements. You can further rationalize by telling yourself that you do not know what the future holds. Reason with yourself to keep your thoughts from making you afraid. Offer yourself soothing supportive statements to calm these fearful thoughts. For example, tell yourself that you're a capable, strong person who can handle scary circumstances. Remind yourself about how you overcame fear in another situation, and you can overcome your fear now as well.
Distract yourself. Distraction has been shown to be a helpful behavioral response when anxious. Research has shown that using distraction can be a protective factor against anxiety. Although researchers do not know the exact reason why distraction works to defend against anxiety, they think that it is connected to cognitive flexibility in being able to shift focus away from anxious external stimuli or anxious thoughts. In fact, distraction was shown to reduce the risk of developing anxiety, in children. If you are in a new situation, it may be helpful to distract yourself from your fearful thoughts. Your fear thoughts may be keeping you tense and worried in the moment. If you find that you are having trouble addressing and challenging your fear thoughts in the moment, giving yourself a distraction may help temporarily to get through the situation. For example, if you are giving a speech, distract yourself with your note cards and focus on what you are saying. If you are in a social situation, start a conversation with someone or focus on what is going on around you, such as music or the smell of food.
Imagine yourself succeeding without fear. Get a hold of your imagination before it runs wild. Many people who experience fear find that their imaginations work overtime to create catastrophic scenarios. Rope in your imagination and force yourself to envision that same scenario in a positive, successful way. For example, if you are scared of giving a speech, spend a few minutes before the speech imagining yourself stepping up to the podium and speaking clearly and confidently. Imagine the audience listening attentively and clapping for you at the end.
Celebrate small steps. Overcoming fear isn't going to happen completely overnight. Work on making incremental changes. This way, you will slowly make progress forward. For example, if you're afraid in social situations, take small steps like saying hello to the grocery store clerk and the mail carrier. If you're scared of public speaking, raise your hand in class to make a quick comment.
Finding Support
Talk to a friend. Sometimes it is helpful to know that fear is a normal part of everyday life, and we have all felt afraid at one point or another. Talking with a friend can normalize this feeling as well as reduce stress by offering social support. Talking with friends can also reduce tension and stress by having a place to laugh and talk through fearful situations. In fact, research studies have shown that social support is linked to feelings of security, which can increase feelings of self-worth.
See a therapist. If you're finding that your fears are seriously limiting your ability to interact with others, or you feel restricted from doing things you used to enjoy, consider visiting a mental health professional. This person may be able to help you dig into the roots of your fears and figure out strategies for overcoming those fears.
Try exposure therapy. In some cases, you may be able to overcome fears by trying exposure therapy. In this type of therapy, a person is exposed to their fear in a safe environment. Then, he or she can “unlearn” the fear. For example, one study reduced participants' phobias of spiders by allowing the participants spend time with tarantulas. They were taught about the spiders' biology and behavior, and eventually touched the spiders. Exposure therapy can sometimes be detrimental, especially for people who suffer from PTSD. Consult with a mental health professional before starting exposure therapy.
Join a support group. Look for a support group in your area where you can share your experiences with other people who experience fear. You might find something that is specific, such as a support group to overcome a fear of flying, for example. Or, you might find a support group that addresses fears and anxieties more generally.
Managing Your Physiological Response to Fear
Try controlled breathing. Because fear is intimately linked to a physiological response such as increased heart rate, increased breathing, and sweating, it is important to have ways to help reduce these responses. It's especially important because these sensations can be uncomfortable and may actually make you feel more afraid or stressed. Controlling your breathing can trigger a calming response, signaling your body to begin to relax and slow breathing and heart rate. When you notice that your anxiety or fear is heightened, try deep breathing from your diaphragm. Take a full breath to a count of ten and ensure that you breath expands your abdomen, hold it for five seconds, and then exhale for five seconds. Be sure to take two normal breaths in between your deep diaphragm breathing.
Relax your muscles through progressive muscle relaxation. You can access a calming response by using progressive muscle relaxation. This type of relaxation reduces muscle tension, sending a signal to your body to begin relaxing. By tensing and then releasing the tension in your muscles, you can slowly bring your body back to a calm state. Tighten your muscles for six seconds and then release for six seconds. Pay close attention to how each muscle is relaxing. Work from your head to your toes until you feel your body begin to relax.
Be present in your thoughts. Mindfulness is a way to calm your fearful thoughts by becoming aware of your immediate environment such as your sensations like hearing and body sensations. Similar to challenging unhelpful thoughts, mindfulness can be used to allow your fearful thoughts to move in and out of your awareness without judgment and without allowing these thoughts to evoke an emotional or physical response. When you notice that your fearful thoughts or physical fear response is becoming too much, tune into noticing the present moment. Listen to the sounds in the room. Sense the temperature of the room. Notice smells in the room. Keep at it until you produce a calming effect for yourself. In addition to pacifying fear, mindfulness can decrease stress and blood pressure. It can also help you to feel more connected to those around you in the moment.
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