How to Learn from Others

Get to know the people around you.

Take them out for drinks or a cup of coffee. If they’re your coworkers, try eating lunch together or hanging out after work. If they’re your classmates, form a study group or go grab drinks. The more you can get to know each other, the more you can learn from each other. Try to get to know the people who are total opposites of you. Maybe there’s an older adult in one of your classes or someone who’s been at your company for years now. You probably have a lot you could learn from them!

Value everyone you meet.

You can learn from everyone, not just your peers. Maybe you meet the new guy at work who has way less experience than you. Just because he’s fresh out of college doesn’t mean you can’t learn something from him! Try to be open to learning from everyone, not just people who you think are on your level. This is especially important if you’re in a position of power. You can always learn from your employees, even if you’re in charge of them.

Watch the people around you.

Simply observe and stay aware of what they do. You don’t have to stalk anyone (that would be creepy), but take note of any habits that work for other people. For instance, if one of your classmates always does well on tests, you might notice them studying on their lunch break instead of chatting with friends. If a coworker of yours gets a ton of praise from the boss, you might notice them staying at work late or coming in on the weekends.

Welcome constructive criticism.

Take advice from others if they offer it. It’s easy to feel defensive or on guard, but most people are just trying to help you out with their comments. Constructive criticism can help you improve and perfect your own technique. For example, a classmate might tell you that you need to dedicate more study time per week for a particularly hard class. They aren’t saying it to be mean, they’re just telling you what works for them.

Take note of other people’s mistakes.

Don’t repeat something you know doesn’t work. If a classmate claims they have a great study trick but they end up failing, you probably don’t want to take their advice. You don’t have to call attention to it, but you can make a note of it in your head. Or, maybe a coworker asks for a raise when they’ve only been at the company for a few months. If they didn’t get the raise, they might have asked for it too early.

Ask for someone else’s point of view.

Different people can offer different perspectives. If you’re feeling stuck, approach a peer or a classmate and ask them for their advice. Their experiences and perspective can really help you make a decision. Say something like, “Hey, you’re always super good at talking to the boss. Do you have any tips for how I could propose a new project?” Bill Gates Bill Gates, Businessman & Philanthropist Finding great mentors is key for building skills and success. "Everyone needs a coach. It doesn't matter whether you're a basketball player, a tennis player, a gymnast or a bridge player."

Throw out hypotheticals.

Ask your peers what they would do in your situation. It can be something you’ve already encountered in the past, or a situation you’re dealing with now. Give them all the relevant facts and ask them for any advice they have to offer. For instance, “So, let’s just say that you have a big presentation at work tomorrow, and you’re not sure if the boss is going to like it. Would you show the presentation to your manager and ask for advice, or would you keep it to yourself and keep working on it?”

Listen to what didn’t work in the past.

Gain insight to what happened before you were around. This is a great strategy to use if you’re the new person at a company or workplace. As you chat with the people around you, try to stay up to date on projects, employees, and strategies that worked (or didn’t work). For instance, maybe the last person in your position proposed a 4-day workweek and was shot down. You can learn from their attempt and go about it in a different way.

Ask for help.

It’s the most straightforward way to learn from others. If you’re struggling and you notice someone else is super good at what you’re doing, see if they can offer you any advice. Don’t take up a ton of their time, but see if they can give you any tips at all. For example, maybe you’re having a hard time in your chemistry class. You could approach your classmate who always does good on the homework and ask what their strategy is.

Have conversations, not interrogations.

Don’t pressure anyone into giving you advice. Instead, try to have friendly chats with your classmates or coworkers, and let them bring up whatever they’d like to. Asking questions is fine, but if the conversation gets a little too one-sided, it could end up feeling hostile. For instance, if you really want to ask a classmate about their study methods, approach them to chat about the class. Try to shoot the breeze for a few minutes about how tough the homework is and how annoying group projects are before diving into your questions. Engaging people with meaningful questions will help you interact in a way that feels more authentic and less superficial. Listen to truly hear them instead of half-listening while thinking about how to respond. Then, reflect on what you heard by paraphrasing what the other person said. If you do this, other people will respond positively.

Check out resumés from professionals in your field.

If they got a job, they must be doing something right. Ask to see your classmates’ or mentors’ resumés or CVs, and check out what they chose to write down. Then, highlight those same things in your own application as you check out jobs. If you don’t have anyone to ask in real life, you can often find example resumés online. Try searching up your line of work + “example resumés.”

Reflect on your own strengths and weaknesses.

Figure out what you have to learn. When you know your own skillset, you’ll be more open minded to taking advice from other people. Everyone has an area they’re not great in, even if you have a ton of experience somewhere else. For example, you might be a great salesperson, but maybe you struggle with formatting paperwork and submitting forms. Someone in your company may be able to help you learn the technology you need to thrive at your job. Expert Answer Q How can you be more likable? Amber Rosenberg, PCC Amber Rosenberg, PCC Pacific Life Coach Amber Rosenberg is a Professional Life Coach, Career Coach, and Executive Coach based in the San Francisco Bay Area. As the owner of Pacific Life Coach, she has 20+ years of coaching experience and a background in corporations, tech companies, and nonprofits. Amber trained with the Coaches Training Institute and is a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF). Amber Rosenberg, PCC EXPERT ADVICE Answer from Amber Rosenberg, PCC: Learn how to engage authentically. Engaging people with meaningful questions will help you interact in a way that feels more authentic and less superficial. Listen to truly hear them instead of half-listening while thinking about how to respond. Then, reflect on what you heard by paraphrasing what the other person said. If you do this, other people will respond positively.

Offer to help when you can.

Learning from each other goes both ways. Your peers will be more likely to offer advice and insight if you do the same for them. If you notice that someone is struggling, offer your handy tips or tell them what worked for you. Chances are, they’ll have some advice to trade back, and it will be beneficial for the both of you. Your insights and experiences will probably be helpful to someone since everyone is so different. You might be able to bring up a point of view that someone else hasn’t thought of before.

Imitate things that work.

Try out the things that your peers told you to do. If it doesn’t work for you, you can make adjustments as necessary. You don’t have to copy people exactly, but you can adapt their practices to match your needs. For example, maybe you have trouble getting ahold of people during group projects. A classmate might have told you that setting up weekly check-in meetings is a great way to hold people accountable. You might use that knowledge and set up check-in meetings, but host them online via video chat so they’re more accessible for everyone.