- Buy tickets to an adult entertainment convention in a city near you. Check the convention schedule for meet-and-greet opportunities with your favorite star!
- Chat online with local webcam performers. If you feel there’s a spark between you, respectfully ask for a date or a meetup like you would with any other person.
- To get to know them, introduce yourself and complement the performer on something non-porn related. Your genuine interest might even lead to a date!
Attending Adult Entertainment Conventions
Search online for adult entertainment conventions near you. Adult entertainment expos usually take place at convention centers in larger cities. Some conventions travel around, while others occur annually in the same location. Google conventions near you, check event listings on sites like Adult Industry Events, or search in adult entertainment magazines to find out when and where shows are taking place. Try searching online for "adult entertainment expos near me" or by adding the name of the nearest city. If you don't live in or near a large city, plan to travel. Conventions are great ways to meet famous stars from out of town as well as local porn performers who attend to network and grow their following. Some large and popular conventions include Eroticon (London, UK), Exxxotica Expo (multiple cities in the US), Montreal Fetish Weekend (Montreal, Canada), the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (Las Vegas, NV), and the XBIZ Convention (multiple cities around the world). Many adult conventions fly “under the radar” of traditional advertising and media coverage in many towns. Search online or in adult entertainment publications.
Buy your ticket ahead of time, especially for major conventions. Use the convention website or phone number to preorder tickets (in some cases, it may be impossible to buy convention tickets during the event or at the door). For the largest annual conventions, attendees often reserve their tickets months ahead of time. Also plan for lodging and transportation ahead of time if you have to travel to a major metro area for the convention.
Go with open-minded, sex-positive people if you don’t want to go solo. A trip to an adult entertainment convention is not for everyone. Choose friends who are non-judgmental, especially about sexuality and pornography. Attending with a close-knit group of friends will likely work best. Some couples like to attend conventions together. If you think this is something your partner might be interested in doing, discuss the idea in advance. Don’t persuade someone (a friend or partner) to go if they really don’t want to. They’ll probably end up being miserable, and might ruin your enjoyment, too. Expect anti-porn protestors outside and over-enthusiasts inside at conventions. Porn conventions are full of surprises, so go into it with an open mind.
Plan your visit around the convention schedule. Print out a copy of the event schedule, which you can usually find on the convention website, or download and save it to your phone for quick access. Highlight the booths and events that you really want to see during your visit. Map out when and where you need to be, and estimate how long it will take you to walk to each location. Build your schedule around “must-meet” stars. Many popular porn stars only appear at certain times and certain locations within the convention hall. Lesser known local performers may not have a booth and could be wandering the convention hall as an attendee. Keep your eyes peeled for your favorites! Scan the schedule for opportunities to meet producers, camera operators, and others involved in the porn industry if you’re interested in what's behind the camera. Pick up a schedule when you enter the convention hall if you forget to look beforehand (you may not be able to plan ahead as effectively).
Set aside plenty of money (including cash) to spend at the convention. Each picture with or signature from a porn star costs money—the more you meet, the more you may have to spend! There are also plenty of sex toys, novelties, and food and drink items to purchase. Make sure that you carry cash, since some booths may not accept credit cards. Use cash to tip performers or concessions workers, too. Like any convention, there will be plenty of ATMs on site if you need to withdraw more cash.
Check out your favorite porn stars dancing on poles or on stage. While nudity is typically prohibited at these conventions due to local regulations, there are usually scantily-clad porn stars or strippers dancing throughout the site. They might be pole-dancing at a booth, or dancing on stage in one of the auditoriums. Feel free to watch and have a good time. You probably won’t get much chance to interact with the porn stars this way—opt for meet-and-greet events listed on the convention schedule for 1-on-1 interactions.
Attend a meet-and-greet with your favorite porn stars. Visit the booths and halls you’ve highlighted to get your posters, pictures, or other paraphernalia signed by your favorite adult entertainers. Take a photo on your phone or bring a camera so that you can get your picture taken with the porn stars, too. A meet-and-greet is likely your best chance for a personal interaction. Take advantage of your time and briefly interact with the porn stars. Tell them how much you appreciate their work, and make small talk if you get the chance. Treat adult performers like regular people when you meet them. Smile and make eye contact to avoid gawking or being rude. Know that there’s not a huge chance your conversation will advance beyond quick chit-chat in these scenarios.
Ask your favorite entertainers questions at forums. While you can certainly ask porn stars questions at their individual booths, there tend to be long lines. This means you have to get in and out in a timely manner. However, porn stars often conduct forums at conventions. Feel free to ask them questions you have about them or the industry as a whole. Treat them like you would any other entertainer at a convention. Ask them what it’s like working with a particular actor or director, or at a certain location—this shows that you know about them and their filmography.
Meeting Webcam Stars
Search for webcam porn stars online from the comfort of home. Plenty of sites showcase professional and amateur porn stars who “cam”—that is, interact through text or chat while they strip and/or engage in sexual activity on a webcam. Search for "cam girls” or “cam guys" online, and visit the profiles of some that you are interested in. If you have a specific performer in mind, search their name to find their online content. Search "cam girls/guys" plus the name of the nearest city, but know that pinpointing stars in your local area is tricky since many don’t list their location publicly. Unfortunately, some online “stars” may be exploited. If you get the sense that the person is an unwilling participant, or appears too young, do not take part in the chat. Consider alerting the authorities about your concerns.
Talk to online stars respectfully for a better chance to meet them. Whether you’re using a chatroom or a private 1-on-1 thread, be thoughtful and articulate. Be respectful and try to have a real conversation, whether it be small talk or sexual in nature. Do not use crude slang or be rude to the person. Ask them questions about their life, what they like to do in bed, or fun hobbies they have. Always remember that adult performers are not objects, but human beings with real emotions.
Pay the cam girl or guy tips as tokens of appreciation. Even if you are just joining a cam site to say “hi” and chat, it is important that you pay the star tips. Tips are usually a small dollar amount that you give them to show your appreciation. This is how many of these stars make a living, so it’s considered rude to watch them perform and not pay. You’ll need to use a credit card to tip online. The site should be protected by robust security and privacy measures. If you don’t feel comfortable giving out your credit card number, find a more trustworthy site. Look for “https” at the beginning of the URL to indicate that the site is secure.
Set up a face-to-face meeting if you’re both interested. Sometimes you might meet someone on a camming website and really hit it off. If you sense that the cammer likes you, just ask them out! Confirm they’re located in or near your area and mention non-sexual things you might do together, like grab coffee. Stay polite and establish the parameters beforehand—when and where are you meeting? What activities are you planning for the date? Meetups with webcam stars can be purely sexual, a romantic date, or simply a chance to have fun with another person. The odds that you'll end up hitting it off with an online cam star who happens to live nearby are pretty remote, but anything's possible! You may want to bring a friend along to bail you out, just in case you meet someone a little sketchy. Never meet someone who you have not seen on a cam before, and always choose a high-traffic public place for meetups. Never give out personal identity information online or to someone you barely know to avoid an online romance scam.
Getting to Know a Porn Star
Introduce yourself like you would with anyone else. Unless you live in a porn industry hotspot like Los Angeles, you’re unlikely to simply run into a porn star. However, you may meet someone online, like a cam star, who you wish to see in person, or bump into a performer at a convention or industry awards show. In any case, treat the meetup professionally. If you recognize a porn star in public, ask, "Excuse me, do I know you from somewhere?" If they say "no," chat politely without bringing up their career. If they say "yes" and mention their work, let them know you're a fan. If they seem interested in chatting, shake their hand and tell them your name, what you do for a living, or some background info about you.
Compliment them on something non-porn related. Say something nice about their eyes, hair, demeanor, dimples, laugh, sense of humor, clothing style, or some other quality that doesn’t directly involve their line of work. While it’s fine to chat a little about their professional work, don't overdo it—let them take the lead on how much they want to discuss that. Focus on what makes the person an individual, not what makes them a “porn star.”
Ask the star on a date if you sense a spark between you. After you’ve introduced yourself (online or in person) and made a little connection, ask the person if they’d like to go out sometime. If you have ideas in mind for a restaurant or movie, all the better. Be confident when you ask the person for the date—otherwise, they might view you as being intimidated. Keep it simple and casual: “I’m really enjoying chatting with you. Would you like to go out sometime? I know this great little Italian place…”
View and treat them as more than a sexual object. A date with a porn star is just like any other date. Porn stars are people with feelings and real human experiences. Focus on emotions, common goals in life, and passions, and try not to view the date as a free chance at easy sex. If you have an interest in forming a long-term relationship, look at them through that prism. What good and bad qualities do you see in them? Do they share or complement your interests and values?
Support, or at least accept, their work in the porn industry. If you plan on dating a porn star, you have to be able to accept their work. Set some parameters regarding how much you want to know about what they do—some partners like to be actively supportive and in-the-know, while others prefer to keep their distance. Try not to let what they do in front of a camera interfere with your relationship. Don’t expect them to quit their career if you feel uncomfortable with their work. Consider how you would react if they asked you to do the same. If they are interested in exiting the porn industry, be as supportive as possible as well.
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