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Brainstorming Names
Browse baby naming websites or name generators for ideas. These websites are great for browsing a huge number of names, and finding one you might not have thought of otherwise. Sort the names by letter if you have a certain sound in mind, or by gender, if you want a name that presents more masculine, feminine, or even nonbinary. You can even sort by year and popularity. Some sites include Baby Names, Think Baby Names, and Behind the Name. Consider what sort of emotional effect the name has for you. Names might feel gentle, sophisticated, quirky, or high-powered. Find one that fits your personality. Look up the meaning of the name to make sure it feels right for you.
Try a feminine/masculine version of your given name. This can be easier to remember and get used to for both your loved ones and yourself. For example, Samantha can turn into Samuel or Samson, Jesse can turn into Jessica, and Elliot can turn into Ellen or Ella. Only do this if it feels right for you. Some people want to distance themselves completely from their given name (often called a deadname), and so they choose a name that's totally different.
Take the name of a person or character who inspires you. Janet Mock, a famous transgender rights activist, took her name from pop icon Janet Jackson. Consider taking the first name of a person who inspires you, whether that's a musician, an activist, a movie star, an author, or a relative. The person doesn't have to be real! You might name yourself after a character from your favorite book or movie, like “Trinity” from The Matrix, “Nala” from the Lion King, or “Orlando,” like Virginia Woolf’s iconic trans-coded character. If you love Greek mythology, you could call yourself “Athena” or “Artemis,” or if you love theater, you could choose a name from Shakespeare like “Romeo.”
Create a non-traditional name. You don't have to pick a common name if you don't want to. Many people choose a non-traditional, more creative name. You might choose a name based on a place that you love, like “Brooklyn,” or if you love nature, you could take a nature name, like “Wren,” or “Canyon.” You can also repurpose a last name as a first name, or spell your name in a creative way. Some trans folks even go by just a single letter, like “Z” or “Q.” Take the name of a word that you find inspiring, like “Hope,” “Justice,” or “Destiny.”
Go for a more popular name among transgender people. Some names tend to be more common among the transgender community, and there are lots of reasons for this. Some are iconic figures or characters, while others catch on like trends. If you’d rather have a more “proven” or community tested name, here are a few: Masculine: Jayden, Aidan, Colt, Flynn, Elliot, Axel, Ezra, Beckett, Harley, Miles Feminine: Jade, Lilly, Holly, Amber, Ruby, Luna, Zoey, Chloe, Emma Gender-neutral: Alex, Dakota, OIlie, Skyler, Emerson, Charlie, Finn, Casper, Rain
Choose a gender-neutral name if you're nonbinary. If you're nonbinary, or for another reason would prefer a gender-neutral name, there's lots to choose from. Lots of cultures have gender-neutral names. Some examples include: Cameron, Kai, Quinn, Asa, Noor, Angel, Sage, Riley, Valentine, Jamie, Casey, Amor, and Jesse. There's lots more out there! Filter for gender-neutral names on baby naming sites, to see what sort of gender neutral names are common in your culture. If you want a fully feminine or masculine name, avoid names that sound ambiguous, such as Gene/Jean. What is considered a male or female name depends upon what culture you're in and where you live. For example, in the US, Ashley is mostly a women's name, but in the UK, it's mostly a men's name.
Involving Your Loved Ones and Heritage
Ask your loved ones what names they can imagine for you. If you're comfortable talking with your parents, you might ask them what they would have called you if you had been born your gender identity. Or, ask your siblings and friends what names they can imagine fitting for you. The people who know your personality best may be able to suggest a name that feels right to you. Involving your closest loved ones with the process of choosing a new name can bring your family closer together. But, if they suggest names that don't feel right, don't feel pressured to take them.
Research names in your family, culture, or religion. Think about favorite names from your culture or ethnic group. Or, think about the names of people from your favorite religious or cultural stories, like Biblical figures or folk heroes. Also think about common names in the country your family comes from, or in the language they speak. If your religion has a book, like the Bible or the Quran, try flipping through for names, or filter on baby naming sites for particular religions or ethnicities. Or, name yourself after someone in your family tree, like your great-aunt Meredith who you've heard wonderful stories about.
Think about whether you want to change your last name. Some people choose to change their last names to help mark their transitions and distance themselves from the name on their public record. On the other hand, some keep their last name to honor their family, or because they’re already professionally established. The choice is yours, and like your first name, you have total freedom here. Try taking on a family last name, like the maiden name of a beloved family member. If you're in a serious relationship or marriage, consider taking the last name of your partner. Or, take the last name of someone who inspires you, or just a last name that feels natural.
Testing Potential Names
Practice introducing yourself with your potential name. Saying the name out loud will help you hear if you like how it sounds, and if it feels like it expresses your personality. Start in the mirror, and see if and how you think the name fits your appearance. Then, ask a close friend or family member to use your tentative name to see how it feels coming from someone else. Or, give your new name in a low-stakes situation, like when a barista asks for a name on a coffee order, or use it on a new social media profile. Consider how easy the name is to pronounce. Will other people be able to get it right? If you're soft-spoken, are people likely to misinterpret you? Also consider how your full name sounds altogether, with your first and last name, and even your middle name.
Practice writing your potential name. Keep a journal, where you write about your day, using your potential name to refer to yourself in third person, and see how it feels. Or, practice your signature, and as you're signing, think if any of the signatures feels particularly right and natural, and like yourself, including initials. If you're going to keep your last name, practice signing all your potential first names with the last name. Consider how easy it is to spell the names you're considering as it can get tiring having to spell out your name for others. Choose a simpler name if you don’t want to bother with that. Also make sure the initials don’t spell something unfortunate, like Patricia Imogene Gerken becoming P.I.G. It’s silly, but a real concern!
Consider the nicknames that would go with your potential names. Some names (like Elizabeth, Alexandra, Robert, Nicholas, and William) have set nicknames that often go along with them. Shorter names like Paulina or Emma typically don't have set nicknames, but sometimes can have nicknames, (Paulie, Em). If you don't like the nicknames that go along with your potential name, you might want to choose a different one. Some feminine names can be given a boyish nickname (e.g. Alexandra shortening to Alex, Christina to Chris). If you don't like this, choose a name that can't be shortened this way.
Take your time, and don’t be afraid to try out multiple names. Choosing a name is a process, and it takes longer for some people than for others. You don't have a deadline, and there is no right or wrong way to choose a name. Give yourself time to play around with different names. If you choose one, and, after a while, decide you don't like it, you can always choose another.
Making It Official
Start introducing yourself by your new name. When you’re ready, start using your name! When you meet someone new, give them your new name—no need to mention the old one. And with people you already know and trust, tell them that you’d like them to start using your new name, instead. Say, “I’ve decided I’d like to go by [Name] from now on.” Don’t feel pressured to use your new name, or to come out as transgender, if you feel it’d put you in danger, or at a disadvantage.
Get a court-ordered name change when you're ready. When you feel sure about your new name, you might choose to change it legally. Gather your driver's license, birth certificate, and proof of state residency. Procedure varies by country and state, but it usually involves filling out a petition for a name change and filing it with the civil clerk in your county's courthouse. Visit TransEquality’s name change tool and enter your location to find a complete guide for the process in your region, or visit TransLifeline for more info. Some states require you to attend a court hearing before they give you a certified copy of your name change. After, use the certified copy of your name change to officially change your birth certificate and driver's license. Note that your new name will be used on mail to your home address, and some states require the name change to be advertised in the newspaper. Consider your privacy and safety. If you're under 18 years old, and not an emancipated minor, a parent or guardian will have to apply for your name change for you, or you may have to wait until you're 18.
Start using your new name on official documents. Once you’ve legally changed your name, it’s time to start using it for things like banking information, healthcare accounts, and on any contracts. It can feel a little overwhelming, but remember you don’t have to get all of this done at once. Most people, transgender or not, forget to update things like their addresses regularly—it’s a process! Keep in mind that you don’t have to change your name legally, if you’d rather not bother. If it’s easier to keep going by your deadname on official documents, that’s perfectly fine! Some people decide it’s not worth the effort.
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