How to Pick Your Nose Inconspicuously

The Thumb-Finger Method

Position the index finger of the opposite-side hand alongside the exterior of the obstructed channel.

Nonchalantly slip the thumb as deep as necessary into the nostril.

Using the thumbnail, delicately clamp onto the dried mucous mass.

Slowly withdraw the thumb and its payload from the nostril. At this step in the process be particularly vigilant for any trailing mucous which might be attached to the payload. These un-noticed "stringers" can jeopardize the entire operation.

Return the hand to a more natural position and discreetly execute a flicking motion with the thumb. This should launch the material sufficiently far away from you that it becomes someone else's problem.

Remember...never wipe it on your shirt or trousers - it's always a dead giveaway.

Beware of flicking too hard. If the offending article sticks to the ceiling, it'll be there forever.

The Advanced Hand-Guard Method

Slightly cup the left hand and position it so that your forefinger is below your right eye and your thumb is below your left eye. The palm will be hiding the nostrils from onlookers who will be convinced that you are rubbing your cheeks as one does when trying to ease the symptoms of a headache, or of weariness, (simultaneously closing one's eyes makes the tactic even more effective).

Using a natural, confident motion bring the right hand up and under the left hand. Use the right index finger to probe, acquire and extract the residual material. After returning the right hand to a secure location execute a flicking maneuver to eject the material.

The Athletic Nose-blow

If you find your mineshaft quite often gets cave-ins you may find this a useful technique to clear blocked passages. This does require a bit of exercise, so if you have a condition which makes exerting yourself dangerous then you might want to steer clear of this method.

Work yourself up to a nice sweat. This will get the blood circulating in all parts of the body including your head. Once this has been accomplished while you're running, or performing whatever exercise, have a quick glance around to make sure no one is looking, casually turn you're head out of line-of-sight, take a deep breath, close your mouth and push all the air from your lungs as well as the offending road-block in one explosive breath. You may be saying to yourself, "How is this inconspicuous"? This can be done both effectively and inconspicuously even if people are around under the guise of a feigned sneeze. Voila! Enjoy a nice deep breath through your newly cleared olfactory mines.

The Fake Cough

Fake a cough slightly while bringing your hand up to your mouth (as if to cover the cough).

Raise your index finger up to the nostril that's bothering you.

The Bathroom Visit

We all "have to go", don't we? If you're not overly happy with picking your nose and sure don't want to even attempt doing it in public, the bathroom visit is your answer! What you're going to do in there is nobody's business! But you don't just have to go there to pick your nose in the "traditional" way... Here's a different approach:

Simply excuse yourself and when you're in there enjoying the privacy of a locked door, lean over the sink letting a small stream of lukewarm warm water run into your nose as you use a fingertip to "wash" and soften the mucous.

Use your finger/hand also to control the amount of water that enters your nose. You don't need much, no need to flush our your sinuses with fresh water (may sting, doing that is best with salt water and appropriate aids).

Using fresh water in the nose only, does not sting or harm you in any way, actually it feels comfortable.

After rinsing and softening the not-so-welcome contents of your nose, you can either gently blow into one of your hands and immediately rinse the hand with the running water OR use toilet paper/paper towel/hankie to blow and wipe your nose in the ordinary way. Voila - you have a wonderfully clean nose and nice and as a bonus, moist mucous membranes!

If you easily get nose bleeds from picking or blowing your nose, this is a much more safe approach to cleaning your nose. If you continue washing the inside with your finger a little longer, you can easily remove the mucous with your fingertip (or a paper towel wrapped fingertip). Just be careful with your nails, you don't really need to use them when water has done the job of loosening those boogers of yours!

Using a nose spray like Otrivin on a regular basis, is not recommended. Using the bathroom visit method every day, may help you stop using nose spray. It may help you through a cold too. Regular moistening of the mucous membranes by something as simple as tap water, may really sooth and loosen things well enough.

The Tissue Pick

Go to the nearest tissue box and blow. If something comes out, throw that tissue away and get a new one.

Cover your index finger with the tissue. Stick only the covered part up your nostrils. Try to cover with the rest of the tissue.

Swivel the index finger around once in nose. Keep picking just as you do in private. Be careful not to accidentally rip the tissue, as this will reveal all and you will have to obtain another tissue.

When you are done itching, discard the tissue and its contents. Wash your hands.