How to Stop Ruminating

Shifting Your Focus

Search for the lesson. Even negative events that happen in your life are learning opportunities. Humans learn from trial and error, which isn’t possible without some negative events to help to push us to be creative and innovative. Focus on the chance to grow and learn from each experience. Learn to separate yourself from things that happen to you. Instead of assuming bad things only happen to bad people, realize that bad things do happen every day and it is up to you how you react. You can look at the negative as just an experience that you can learn from. Don’t take the event personally about who you are overall and move forward.

Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen. Thinking about what’s bothering you in this way can remove some of the power of your fears. The biggest part of the fear is running every scenario through your brain to the point of exhaustion. Taking a realistic approach can help. Figure out what is the worst possible outcome and then realize that, even if it were to occur, it is not the end of the world. This type of negative thinking can give you very real physical pain, may lead to trouble sleeping and other issues. It is important to find a way to work past the fear and live without these symptoms.

Remove the trigger. Sometimes, you might ruminate after encountering a certain stimulus. Look closely at your rumination behaviors and determine which triggers are causing them. Then, find ways to remove the stimulus. A good way to start to look at triggers is to keep a journal and write down each time you fall into this behavior. In the moment, record what thoughts or experiences started the process and this would be a trigger for you. An example of a trigger could be a visit from your mother-in-law. If you share a rocky history, you may obsess over her next unannounced visit because you fear it will end badly.

Find helpful replacements. Changing a bad habit is best achieved by locating another behavior—ideally, a healthier one—that could meet the same objective. For example, if you tend to worry a lot about emergencies, take some time to get yourself prepared so you know even in an emergency you are OK. Put your thoughts to good use and take it a step further by helping others prepare for these events as well. It is a great distraction from running the worst case scenario in your head over and over.

Managing Worries

Practice mindfulness. This means getting in touch with your thoughts, actions and reactions. This is also a process that uses calming activities like yoga to move past stress and not focus on the negative. Understanding that you have a tendency to overthink things is a huge step towards being mindful because you can attribute much of your stress to this habit and not to actual events. Awareness relating to the outcomes of the stress will also help in learning to not let the stress hurt you physically.

Schedule a daily worry period. You may not be able to completely stop the obsessive thoughts but you can isolate them to a short part of your day. Set aside 30 minutes each day to sit down and write about what is worrying you. Remind yourself if these worries come up during the rest of your day that you will think about the stressor only during that worry period.

Get active. Physical activity can help you reduce stress and improve your mood. Exercise releases feel-good chemicals in the brain called endorphins that improve your mood. Taking a long brisk walk to get the blood flowing or sweating for an hour at the gym is a solid distraction and also a way to cleanse the body of toxins. Many people see sweating as a freeing process as well as it is also a natural high.

Start a journal. Write about your fears and also about what really ends up happening so in the future you can compare the two. This will help to show you how much worse you make the problem by thinking the worst when it doesn’t always happen.

See a therapist for particularly stubborn thoughts or memories. If your obsessive thoughts are interfering with daily life, it may be wise to seek help from a professional. Treatments for rumination can include counseling, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and behavioral interventions. There are also prescription drugs one can take to calm obsessive thoughts.

Developing a Healthier Attitude

Share your burden with others. Trust a friend, especially someone who's survived similar situations. He or she may have a lot of good tips on how to handle it. Support groups of individuals with depression or rumination disorder are very good for gaining confidence and eliminating the shame or stigma associated with these conditions.

Overcome perfectionism. Having the mindset that everything you do must be done to an ideal standard will cause both mental exhaustion and anxiety. Changing a perfectionistic attitude starts with accepting that mistakes and flaws are inevitable. Learn to spot perfectionism in yourself. Do you often have trouble meeting your own standards or only do so with immense time and effort? Do you frequently feel down in the process of trying to meet your own standards? You can adopt a more realistic perspective by reminding yourself with certain phrases like “Everybody makes mistakes!” or “I’m only human!” Try doing this when you make a mistake or fall short of your expectations. Over time, you will be less hard on yourself.

Release your need to control everything. Change what you can and learn to accept what you can’t. Practice new reactions to stressful situations and challenge yourself over time to end the obsessive thoughts. Work with friends and family to explore ways you can let go of triggers you tend to want to control. Having support of loved ones can be nice and it also adds another level of accountability.

Direct your attention towards the positives in your life. You learn from both the positives and negatives in life, but for someone who is obsessing you usually focus more on the negative. Take time each day to write down three things that were really great or happy about your day. Take the time to share these “wins” with loved ones and make it a priority. You can also ask them to participate and start to have more positive conversations.

Use behavioral interventions to redirect your negative thoughts. You may not even be fully aware of how often you have these thoughts until you take this step. These interventions are geared at helping you spot your old unhealthy thinking patterns and adopt a healthier, less obsessive mindset in their place. This can be as simple as wear a rubber band on your wrist and snapping it each time you catch yourself thinking about it when it is not time to do so. .