Vidya Balan On Fighting Body Image Issues: 'I Had Started To Feel Small In My Bigness....'

Whether it’s the roles she played in movies or the body issues she confronted and transformed into strengths, Vidya Balan has shattered barriers. Despite a time when her looks garnered more attention than her work, she now reflects on that chapter to inspire women facing criticism for their weight and appearance.

In conversation with actor-politician Vani Tripathi Tikoo during a masterclass on Women and Glass Ceiling at the 54th IFFI in Goa, Vidya shared, “I had realised I was only sending hate towards my body. I was constantly saying it, ‘You are not what I want you to be’. And therefore, I was constantly falling sick. I started working with a healer 12 years ago and I realised that you are abusing the very thing that’s keeping you alive.”

The 44-year-old shared that once she began being “thankful” for her “body and breath” keeping her alive, her perspective changed. This mindset shift became a game-changer, allowing her to wake up feeling good about herself. “It has been a gamechanger since then, because today, however I wake up in the morning, I feel good about myself, and on days I don’t, I then tell myself, ‘It’s okay, tomorrow will be a new day. Let me live with what I am feeling today’. Sometimes, your body also expresses your emotions whether you feel tired, angry, jealous, grateful, hurt, tearful or whatever, but that doesn’t make you smaller. I had started to feel small in my bigness, and that’s ridiculous. It was almost like I was cowering,” she said.

The one thing that the actor stresses she would always be grateful to God for is that, “My size has never mattered to me when I face the camera. I love the camera so much I trust it so much that I believe that it will always love me back.”

For those troubled by society’s judgment, Vidya advises, “Forget about how they are judged, how do they judge themselves is important. When you look into the mirror, how you feel. And if you don’t feel good, it’s okay. We are humans and we have good and bad days, but fake it till you make it. Tell yourself that I love and accept myself, a little more everyday, and it really works. We women have allowed our bodies to form such a large part of our identities.”