Canadian author Jessica Waite recently published a shocking memoir, The Widow’s Guide To Dead Bastards, detailing her late husband’s infidelity and how she ate his ashes in anger. After her husband, Sean, died during a business trip in Texas in 2015, Jessica stumbled upon his browser history while looking for a hospital phone number. As soon as she typed ‘Houston’ on his iPad, the browser automatically suggested ‘Houston escorts,’ leaving her heartbroken and angry.
The author claimed that she was “detached from reality.” In response to her pain, Jessica mixed Sean’s ashes with dog faeces and swallowed them. It felt dry and rough, she added.
According to Daily Mail, Jessica wrote, “I’ve desecrated the remains of my partner in life. The remains feel dry against my fingertips, coarser than baking powder, grainier than salt. They mix with the teary water, a mineral mud on the back of my tongue. I swallow.”
Things became even more troubling for Jessica when she went to Denver to clean Sean’s bachelor apartment. While cleaning, she found a hard drive and after connecting it with the computer, she was shocked to see that her husband had many folders filled with p**n videos. He had arranged them by different categories like age and race, which she referred to as the “Matrix of P**n.”
Jessica realised her husband spent a lot of time downloading the collection. She added that during tough times, he often worked late at night, between 2 AM to 5 AM to work on his collection.
Following the discovery, she started fantasising about killing herself, she wrote, “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t imagined how good it would feel, fading into nothing.” Later, she realised that she needed to focus on taking care of her son, Dash, and sought professional help.
Nine years since Sean’s death, she still has many unanswered questions about his behaviour. But she claims she has moved on.
“He wasn’t only a liar and a cheater and a betrayer. He was a good son who loved and honoured his parents. He was a loving father to Dash. He was respected by his colleagues. Dash still has good memories of his dad,” she wrote in the book.
The author has now started a new chapter in her life with a new partner. She is also helping others deal with their grief. While she feels stronger and better than before, she still cries almost every day and feels that a part of her is missing.
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