How to Get Into the Spirit of Christmas when You Don't Feel It Any More

Kris Kringle, AKA Santa Claus

Put gas in your SUV, or whatever it is you use to collect and deliver your gifts. For you, the spirit of the season may be about holiday parties at the office, finding a parking space at the mall, hustling and bustling to get the best deals, exchanging gifts with friends and loved ones, and best of all: the look of delight on your loved one's faces as they open the gift that's exactly what they wanted—even though they never said a word about it! Maybe you've lost the spirit of Christmas, many others have, too. The over-commercialization of the holiday has sapped the pleasure from what should be a joyous time. It doesn't have to be that way.

Avoid the crazy crowds. Whatever your reason for the season, nothing can kill the holiday spirit quicker than being crushed against the front of a store by gun-wielding mobs of bargain-crazed shoppers. Shop at the stores of local producers. Most of the things you can find in malls and big box stores are mass-produced, cheaply-produced junk anyway. Giving junk as gifts is almost as soul-sapping as being in shopping mob. There are many gifts that fall outside the world of Christmas: handmade jewelry; artisan meats, breads, and cheeses; charitable gifts that donate money to a cause, given in the recipient's name; even gifts of things that you make well yourself, whether that's a hand-knit sweater, a work of art, a delicious dinner, or more. Simply ask yourself what you do well, and offer a bit of that as a gift.

Close your eyes (after you read this step). Now, imagine your best Christmas ever. It might have been when Santa got you that bike as a kid, or maybe that Christmas Eve that he proposed to you. Ask yourself: why was that special, and what did it feel like? If it was simply that sense of wonder and how it felt like everybody was "nicer" somehow, then actively seek where that is happening. If it's the look of delight on children's faces, go find the best Santa in town, and soak in the total belief in a magic elf who delivers presents to children all over the world. Keep a smile on your face, and walk with your head up, making eye contact as much as you can. Greet everybody—young and old, even people you might instinctively dislike—with a hearty "Merry Christmas." You may not even believe it yourself at first, but give it some time and effort.

Decorate your house. It doesn't matter if you have a house full of kids, or are just on your own. Enjoy the trappings of the season in any way you can. If you have the space, head to the hills and harvest a tree. If that's not possible in your area, head to the local parking lot stuffed with trees. Either way, get one a couple weeks before Christmas, turn on the Christmas music, put up the tree, and decorate it. Your home will smell like Christmas, and it's hard to be unmoved by that! Add a wreath to your front door, so that every time you come home that's the first thing you'll see.

Reach out to friends and loved ones. It may be in the form of Christmas cards, or through the telephone or the Internet, if they're not nearby. If you Skype or do a Google Hangout with video, set it up if you can so that your Christmas tree is in the background, all lit up.

Enjoy Christmas television. "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings!" Whether your tastes run towards the traditional Miracle on 34th Street, the classics like A Christmas Carol by Dickens (or it's modern comedic take with Scrooged), stop-motion animations like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer or Nightmare Before Christmas, or cult classics like A Christmas Story, holiday television is filled with nostalgia, humor, morality plays, and lots of simple, fun entertainment.

Eat seasonal foods. It's the season of candy canes, eggnog, pumpkin pies, mulled drinks, and roasted foods. Whether you do it yourself, or pick up some yummies at the grocery store, the aromas from the kitchen combine with the aromas of the evergreens that can transport you back in time to that best Christmas ever! Even if the kitchen is anathema to you, try it—make a batch of your favorite cookies, for you and your family. Snickerdoodles, peanut butter cookies, or just plain old sugar cookies are all good. And if you have kids, help them decorate those tasty morsels.

Divide and conquer. If you dread the holidays because of all the work that has to be done—cooking, cleaning, wrapping, cleaning, more cooking, more cleaning, shopping, more cleaning...stop! Share the load. If you have a spouse, make a plan. If you do the cooking, your spouse does the cleaning. If you do the shopping, they do the wrapping. Most Christmas chores are like that, so take advantage of your spousal unit to lessen the load. If you have kids, they can do the cleaning—and you have the perfect leverage. Just start whistling, Oh, you better not pout, you better not cry, you better watch out, I'm telling you why...Santa Clause is coming to town!

Silent Night, Holy Night

Forget the crowds. For you, Christmas is about one thing, and one thing only: celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Maybe the joy of the season has been lost by the secular nature of our society, or maybe you've been listening to the cynical entertainers on the radio telling you there's a "war on Christmas." None of that is relevant. Christmas is in your heart and in your faith. Everything else is noise and needless negativity.

Decorate your home. A beautifully-decorated tree, topped with a shining star, is as traditional as it is symbolic. Take extra care this year that your tree is everything you remember about the Christmases that used to inspire you. Fill your house with the scents and lights of the season. Put candles in the windows (electric ones are safer than flame candles)—these were used by Irish Catholics to signal it was safe for priests to come and give them their sacraments, back during the Reformation when being Catholic could result in an early and generally painful demise.

Turn on the music. There is a wealth of holiday music that will bring forth warm memories of Christmases past, chief among those is the glorious Handel's Messiah. It is a work that is filled with familiarity, soaring themes, inspiring melodies, and brilliant passages. Christmas carols are also wonderful and inspiring to listen too. It's hard to stay outside the spirit of Christmas when the spirit is flowing through you with these celebratory songs of joy. To make them even more meaningful, gather some friends and family this year, and go Christmas caroling in your neighborhood. Just stay warm, and have some hot chocolate or apple cider for when you get home!

Read the story of Christmas. Instead of making Christmas morning a present-shredding frenzy, begin the day by reading Luke 2:1-20. You can memorize it, or you can read it alone, or share it with your family. Remembering the real reason for Christmas will do much to restore your faith in both the season, and in humanity.

Exchange gifts. On the very first Christmas, the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh were given to the baby Jesus, so you know gift giving is rooted in 2,000 years of tradition. Sadly, it's become almost completely about the gold, but that's not a tradition you need to foster. Give small, meaningful gifts to those you love, whether or not you expect anything in return. Make it something meaningful, and something symbolic of your relationship and love.

Attend Christmas church services. Christmas Eve services are special celebrations that are rich in tradition and history, and will help you be filled with love and joy. Like the Christmas eve services, you will hear the story of Christmas, and share the celebration of this season with your faithful friends, neighbors, and family.

Make the perfect Christmas dinner. That may vary, both on your tradition, your means, and your family. If you've always lavished your Christmas dinner with a great deal of attention and preparation and fuss, but you have grown weary of it, make it simple! Tell your family in advance, so they're not expecting the Christmas goose, and get grilled cheese sandwiches instead! Make your family's favorite dinner—whether that's grilled tofu or your famous bacon-cheeseburgers, make what they love. Even if it's not a 4-course, gut-busting meal, they will be guaranteed to love it. And you'll love the lack of stress! Take a cue from the Jews, and eschew the home-cooked Christmas feast. Go to your favorite Chinese restaurant, and please pass the soy sauce!

Say this to yourself, and to all: "Merry Christmas!"

Winter Solstice

Shut out the noise. You may not be able to escape it all—the holiday season is a cash cow, and every media outlet, new and old, will be pushing one message. As Tom Lehrer put it 50 years ago, "Angels we have heard on high, tell us to go out...and buy." To get back to the most primal reason for this season's festivities, start by modifying what you normally watch or listen to. If you have cable TV, avoid the broadcast stations—the signal-to-noise ratio (noise being the Christmas marketing push) is very high. Instead, use your normal TV time to catch up on old movies you love, or the National Geographic channel or science channels for more celestial-type programming, or the History channel to learn how people celebrated the season before the rise of Christianity and later, Wall Street. Turn off the radio. You'll be pitched every 10 minutes, or subject to Christmas music, or be harangued by talkers for participating in a "war on Christmas." Shun the internet newsgroups, especially regarding topics that touch on any reason for celebrating the season. Somebody will always be there to rain on the parade, and usually with the most abusive attitude. None of that will help you capture the spirit of the season as you see it.

Find like-minded people. Whatever your solstice views are—be they pagan or secular—there are people out there who think as you do. A search in Google will give you a plethora of choices. If you live in a place where you're isolated, either by geography or by local culture, you can find like-minded people in Internet groups. Here are some things to look for: Saturnalia. The Romans celebrated the return of the light by mandating feasting, gambling, ribaldry, and general merriment. The reason? This would vanquish Old Man Saturn, who was often depicted as Father Time, or even Death (not unlike how we ring in the new year now!). Saturnalia is celebrated from December 17th through December 24th. If all that drinking, partying, and debauching is a bit much, December 25th—conveniently enough—is Juvenalia, a celebration of children. In old Roman times, children were entertained, given gifts, and feted. Mithra. Not to be confused with either Mothra or Mithrandir, Mithra was the Persian sun god. Like virtually all celebrations of the season, it celebrates the return of the light, and the promise of renewal. According to legend, Mithra appeared from a rock, armed with knife and torch. Shepherds saw this, and greeted him with gifts. Yule. Yule was the solstice festival of the Norse and Teutonic people of northern Europe. As part of the celebrations, a large green log was burned in the hearth. The festivities would last as long as the Yule log burned. The traditions of decorating the house with greenery—wreaths, trees, and boughs—originated with Yule. Like many other traditions, this was folded into the Christian celebrations of Christmas.

Honor the darkness. As the winter solstice approaches, the days get much shorter. The further north you are, the shorter they get. Nature discards the old during this time, to make way for the spring. You can rage against the dying of the light, or recognize that this is a simple celestial phenomenon that will give way to long days of renewal. Set aside a half an hour every evening to meditate on that which you have lost during the year, and that which you wish to shed in the new year. Meditate also on what you wish the lengthening days to bring to your life. If you're too busy to do a half an hour's meditation, do a full hour. On the day of the solstice, spend the day in silence and reflection. Say a final goodbye to the losses, hurts, and regrets of the last year by writing them down on individual strips of paper, then burning them in the Yule fire.

Start a new tradition. It might be for yourself, it might be for your family and friends. Incorporate any of the old celebrations, and understand that it's intimately tied to the concepts of darkness and light, death and birth, decay and renewal. Have a feast! In most agrarian cultures, mid winter was a time of home and family and enjoying the bounty of the previous year. Create a feast for the season, with the kinds of food that would still be around from the autumn harvests. Cured meats, wildfowl, root vegetables, wine, hot drinks, fresh bread—all of it is fair game for your celebration harvest. Give your celebration a name. It can be as simple as something like "Feast," or as complex as "The Carpren's Annual Celebration of Rebirth and Renewal." Create invitation cards that are like Christmas cards, only with your own theme.

Decorate your home. Put up a Yule tree, studiously avoiding an abundance of reds and greens. Stick with single-color lights. White is nice, as it's reminiscent of sparkling snow. Top your tree with a white orb representing the moon, instead of a star representing the star in the East that called the three wise men to Bethlehem. If you have a fireplace, keep a fire going. Give simple gifts. If you have to go to a mall, or if saving 25% is actually a significant amount of money, then don't buy it. Opt for small things from local artisans—be it a small wooden toy or an artisanal cheese.

Celebrate the season your way. If you make the season (whatever you call it) a time of joy, and renewal, growth, and love, you'll find yourself having more spirit of the season than most people around you.

Happy holidays!

For Everybody

Be yourself. No matter what your faith, belief, desires, traditions, or expectations, the season is about birth, about renewal, and about celebration. Look at it through the lens of those things that are most meaningful to you, and strive to make the days of this season reflect your own personal goals and desire. Remember: the spirit of the season resides, first and foremost, inside you.

Merry Christmas! And a Happy New Year!