Sex may permeate our popular culture, but conversations about it are still associated with stigma and shame in Indian households. As a result, most individuals dealing with sexual health issues or trying to find information about sex often resort to unverified online sources or follow the unscientific advice of their friends.
To address the widespread misinformation about sex, News18.com is running this weekly sex column, titled ‘Let’s Talk Sex’. We hope to initiate conversations about sex through this column and address sexual health issues with scientific insight and nuance.
The column is written by sexologist Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain. In this article, Dr Jain will discuss the effect of Alzheimer’s disease on sexual health and how to cope with it.
Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive form of dementia. Dementia is a broader term for conditions that negatively affect memory, thinking, and behaviour. The disease begins with mild loss of memory and ultimately leads to a decline in the ability to work independently and perform daily tasks.
Changes in intimacy and sexuality in Alzheimer’s disease
When a person is living with Alzheimer’s disease, his or her sexual behaviour, needs, and desires may change. As their partner, yours may too. Your sex life may have changed, and you might need advice on how to cope with this, as well as how to feel better. The person with Alzheimer’s may be stressed by the changes in his or her memory and behaviours. Fear, worry, depression, anger, and low self-esteem (how much the person likes himself or herself) are common. The person may become dependent and cling to you. He or she may not remember your life together and feelings toward one another. The person may even fall in love with someone else.
The partner or the person with Alzheimer’s disease may lose interest in having sex. This change can make you feel lonely or frustrated. You may feel that:
- It’s not okay to have sex with someone who has Alzheimer’s.
- The person with Alzheimer’s seems like a stranger.
- The person with Alzheimer’s seems to forget that the partner is there or how to make love.
- A person with Alzheimer’s disease may have side effects from medications that affect his or her sexual interest. He or she may also have memory loss, changes in the brain, or depression that affect his or her interest in sex.
Hypersexuality
Sometimes, people with Alzheimer’s disease are overly interested in sex. This is called hypersexuality. The person may masturbate a lot and try to seduce others. These behaviours are symptoms of the disease and don’t always mean that the person wants to have sex. But changes in their brains can make them act in ways that are new or different for them.
For example, they may show more interest in sex than before. They may touch, hug, or try to kiss others, even strangers. They might touch their private areas, masturbate around others, or try to touch other people’s private areas. They may take their clothes off around others or come out naked or in their underwear. This kind of behaviour may surprise you, but remember that it isn’t their fault. It’s caused by the effects of the disease on their brain.
How to cope with changes in intimacy
You or your partner may become frustrated if their sexual needs are not met, especially if one of you is more interested in sex than the other. Most people with Alzheimer’s disease need to feel that someone loves and cares about them. They also need to spend time with other people as well as you. Your efforts to take care of these needs can help the person with Alzheimer’s to feel happy and safe. You can do some things to try to keep this behaviour from happening:
- Do not overreact or express shock.
- Provide physical touch. Everyone has a need for loving touch and physical contact. Find a way to touch them as part of your everyday routine. Hold their hand or give them a hug or back rub.
- Try to redirect the person to another activity.
- Avoid becoming angry or argumentative.
- Avoid things that trigger the behaviour. If it happens regularly, pay attention to what happens right before and try to avoid it.
- Do not use shame or ridicule. Redirect to a private area if behaviour is inappropriate for a public setting.
- Limit the changes in your loved one’s life. These can make them confused and keyed up and lead to new or different sexual behaviour.
- Allow certain behaviours in private. Masturbation may be one of the few ways someone with Alzheimer’s disease can feel pleasure or relieve sexual desires. If they do it in private and don’t hurt themselves, it’s often best to ignore it.
Take care of yourself
Changes in sexuality and intimacy or emotional closeness are unique experiences for every individual whether involved in an intimate relationship or not. Consider the following tips to help cope with such changes and support your emotional health:
- Do what feels best for you.
- Try not to feel guilty if you no longer wish to have sex with your partner.
- Find new ways to connect.
- Understand that you may have conflicting feelings about wanting to continue your sexual relationship in light of the changes that are occurring. It may help to discuss this with your partner or counselling professional.
- Know that there is no single approach that will work for every couple. Talk with your partner so you can identify a mutually enjoyable approach to intimacy.
Alzheimer’s is a complicated disease, and scientists are working on unlocking its secrets. Currently, there’s no cure for Alzheimer’s yet, but treatment can help slow the progression of the disease and may improve quality of life.
Prof (Dr) Saransh Jain is the winner of the Swasth Bharat Rattan Award and is a Certified and Licensed Sexologist by the American Board of Sexology. He is currently a Senior Consultant at Dr SK Jain’s Burlington Clinic in Lucknow. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not represent the stand of this publication.
Read all the Latest Opinion News and Breaking News here
Comments
0 comment