- Notice if she seems attracted in some way to other women or goes out of her way to be around them.
- Ask her casually about her past dating experience or celebrity crushes to find out if she has had any feelings for women before.
- Look at whether her body language becomes more open or expressive around other women, or if she makes prolonged eye contact with them.
She shows open attraction towards women.
Checking out other ladies could mean she’s into them. Does she always notice other women’s looks and comment on them in a sexualized way? If she seems to generally appreciate women, including their sex appeal, there is a chance she’s bisexual—although she could just love and admire other women in a platonic way (we stan a girl’s girl). Remember that there are different types of attraction, including: Romantic attraction: Wanting to be romantic with someone Sexual attraction: Wanting to be sexual with someone Platonic attraction: Wanting to be friends with someone Sensual attraction: Wanting to cuddle and hug someone Aesthetic attraction: Liking how someone physically looks Recognize that it’s possible she’s attracted to women but doesn’t realize she’s bisexual. Women can be attracted to other women without formally identifying as queer—this is not an uncommon phenomenon.
She gives off a “vibe.”
Go with your intuition. “Gaydar” isn’t a thing, but also, it kinda is: sometimes your intuition can tell when someone is into someone else. However, don’t bank on this, as intuition can be wrong. While intuition can be correct, avoid assuming she’s bi just because she “seems” bi: not conforming to traditional notions of “femininity” doesn’t mean she’s not straight—and on the flipside, being overly “feminine” doesn’t mean she’s not queer. Floro agrees: "Some assumptions lead folks to align with [certain] gender and attraction stereotypes or binaries that I think a lot of folks are trying to get away from." Society encourages women to develop emotional closeness to one another. For some, this can spill over into attraction. Realize that sexuality can be very fluid, especially for women. It's also possible for platonic female relationships to seem like romantic relationships, even when they're not, because they often involve more emotional and physical intimacy than male friendships do.
She doesn’t talk about her relationship history.
If she’s private about her sexuality, she may not be open about past relationships. Some bisexual women are open about their sexuality, but others may not feel comfortable disclosing their sexuality to others. If the woman in question avoids talking about past relationships, it’s possible—but by no means proof—that she’s into women and is private about it. Alternatively, if she does talk about past relationships, notice what pronouns she uses to talk about previous partners: “My last partner loved New York, so we went there for her birthday.” Keep in mind that if she has dated or is currently dating a man, it doesn’t mean she isn’t bisexual, and she doesn’t have to have dated a woman in order to be bisexual. At the same time, not having much of a relationship history or not being open about past dating experiences doesn’t automatically mean she’s into women—she just might not date much or might be a generally private person.
Her celebrity crushes are women.
Crushing on famous women may indicate she’s not totally straight. Ask which celebrity she has a crush on, and see if she names a woman. Or ask directly which female celebrity she finds the most attractive, and why, and see how she responds. Know the difference between bisexuality and being sexually open. People can be open and interested in certain sexual experiences without identifying in a particular way.
She’s very active in LGBTQ spaces.
Being immersed in LGBTQ culture could indicate she isn’t straight. Does she attend Pride every year without fail? Does she repost a lot of content from gay celebrities? Does she frequent gay bars? Advocacy and being involved in the queer community doesn’t automatically mean she’s queer herself, but it very well could. If possible, notice how many of her friends are queer as well—again, it’s not a surefire sign she’s bi, but it could be. Floro advises "[dropping] hints into conversation...like, let's say there's a known lesbian bar or like a known area where [queer] folks kind of like hang out and say, 'Oh, have you been [there]?'" If she says no, it doesn't automatically mean she's not bi, but if she says yes, there's a good possibility she is.
She displays open body language towards women.
Her stance and movements may shed light on her sexuality. Check out her body language when she’s around other women: does she seem giddy or nervous? Does she seem to get closer to some women and display open body language? If she’s into a woman, she might face here body towards her, keep her arms uncrossed, and maintain eye contact. What’s her mood like when she sees you or other women? If she becomes giddy, extra happy, and full of smiles, that’s a good sign. If she seems jealous when you or other women spend time with other friends, that could be a sign she’s interested. Is she trying to get you alone or does she only hang out with you when other friends are along? If she’s always trying to get you alone, it might mean she’s into you. Listen to her tone and inflection. People who are socialized as female are often taught to lift up their tone at the end of a sentence, especially when talking to friends. However, some women do this when they’re flirting.
She tells you she identifies as bi.
In the end, the only person who knows for sure if she’s bi is her. Real big brain answer here, but it has to be said: if she tells you she’s bisexual, odds are she is, in fact, bisexual. There might be countless other “signs” she’s into women, and you may even suspect she’s bi without knowing it, but in the end, all of the various hints you might pick up don’t really amount to anything unless she herself identifies as being into women. If you feel comfortable, feel free to ask something like “How do you identify?” But always try to read the conversation and situation before asking someone about their sexuality. In some cases, it might be inappropriate or unsafe. If you identify as queer yourself, sharing and disclosing that information yourself (if you feel comfortable doing so) may make her feel comfortable disclosing how she identifies. If you identify as queer but don’t feel comfortable disclosing that directly, try mentioning it indirectly. You could say something like “My ex-girlfriend and I broke up because…”
Comments
0 comment